Fern Support Group
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@chimoaus said in Fern Support Group:
G'day all, thought I would kick start a support group for anyone who is struggling or needs some support. My reason for starting this is my partner of 25 years has a degenerative condition that has worsened over time and is now so bad she is bed bound in the lounge room and I care for her. Can't say I ever thought I would see my wife in a wheelchair and needing me to help clean her etc.
I know many of you have lost partners, parents etc and I am curious how you kept your mental health healthy when watching a loved one's health fail.
The biggest thing we miss is the ability to do things like travel, bushwalking etc. It is only when your body fails that you realise how important moments and experiences are. Material things, money etc are not important when you can't do anything. For those with a healthy partner make sure you give them a big hug and surprise them with a trip somewhere.
My heart bleeds for you Mate. Unfortunately I've been there and it's soul destroying. People would always ask me if there was anything they could do and I just wanted to say "can you please make this all go away". It's hard to enjoy anything in life because of this constant reminder that hits you like a train every time you wake up in the morning. But I think you have try to take some time for yourself and not shoulder everything. You'll go mad otherwise.
Find things that bring you joy and make sure you do them. I found exercise helped and rugby (when the Canes and ABs were actually good) made me happy. Also talk and vent as much as you can. Don't hold it all in. Beers with mates help big time.
I think most importantly, cherish every day you still have together. Say everything you want to you say. Thank her for the joy and happiness she gave you. Don't leave anything unsaid.
I'm so sorry Mate. PM if you want a yarn or any assistance. Stay strong.
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Blimey that's not cool. Not cool at all.
Not much advice I can give, but those that do go through tough things in life I know find a lot of solace in the company of others experiencing the same thing. Although I'm sure TSF will be a support network, a closer one of people with the same issue will do you wonders.
All the best mate, thoughts are with. Might go and chat to the wife again now after our stupid argument the other day ....
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@chimoaus it occured to be we could/should also be proactive in checking in, how you going this week?
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@Kiwiwomble Thanks mate, I appreciate the concern, we both watched the rugby together and it was a real highlight seeing her get excited by the boys performance It's a bit like groundhog day to be honest, good days with bad and just focusing on the good. We are in a bit of a holding pattern at present and I'm just focusing on doing what I can with work and caring etc. Cheers.
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Really sorry to hear that, mate. Glad you felt able to share here.
I have a close friend who went thru 10 years of seriously awful, lifechanging stuff happening to her husband & son and I've often told her I marvel at how she got thru it. Her response was that opening up and just talking to people about her situation (and sometimes venting) helped enormously and was probably key to getting her thru it.
Look like you've figured that out already. You'd be amazed at how kind people can be when you ask them to listen when you need to open up.
Kia kaha.
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Thoughts are with you both
Enjoy the little moments
Theyβll be massive down the line
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@chimoaus said in Fern Support Group:
@Kiwiwomble Thanks mate, I appreciate the concern, we both watched the rugby together and it was a real highlight seeing her get excited by the boys performance It's a bit like groundhog day to be honest, good days with bad and just focusing on the good. We are in a bit of a holding pattern at present and I'm just focusing on doing what I can with work and caring etc. Cheers.
its something ive always wanted Mrs Womble to get into sport so we could really enjoy it together, she'll come to live match for the spectacle...but wont sit down and enjoy a game on tv
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@Kiwiwomble make her a canes fan, get her some skin in the game! Bonesetta is a canes fan and I nominated the rest of her family with other super teams, makes it a bit more fun. Of course her mum is the sith.
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@Bones said in Fern Support Group:
@Kiwiwomble make her a canes fan, get her some skin in the game! Bonesetta is a canes fan and I nominated the rest of her family with other super teams, makes it a bit more fun. Of course her mum is the sith.
ive tried..she gets annoyed and says if she has to pick a team she'll pick her own...thats how she ended up "supporting" geelong in the AFL and Chelsea in the football...pure spite and only mentioned them if i push things...she actually from chch so i dont want to push my luck and end up married to a crusaders fan
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@Bones said in Fern Support Group:
@Kiwiwomble make her a canes fan, get her some skin in the game! Bonesetta is a canes fan and I nominated the rest of her family with other super teams, makes it a bit more fun. Of course her mum is the sith.
You cruel and unusual bastard.
Edit: sorry, read that as you'd encouraged her to become one.