Bad/Lame Jokes

[Bones]

@Victor-Meldrew said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Bones said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Probably not, I don't do subtle.

That can be fixed for you.

I'm not sure which of the 4 versions of this post I like best.

[NTA]

What do you call the sweat produced when rednecks are having sex?

Relative humidity...

[Catogrande]

@NTA Why do Rednecks get confused between food and sex?

Pumpkin.

[RoninWC]

First off, THANK YOU EVERYONE for your concern 🙏
I'm ok, just a bit shaken up, but l'll be ok.
For those of you who don't know what happened, I was robbed yesterday morning at the petrol station filling up the van.
I gathered myself together, my hands were still shaking, I was dizzy and I honestly think I was in shock. My money was gone.
I called the police, they were fantastic and called for medical assistance as my blood pressure was through the roof. The police asked me if I knew who did it, and I told them "Yes, it was pump number 4 ” ⛽️

[RoninWC]

[RoninWC]

[Higgins]

@RoninWC I didn't know things had got that desperate in drought ravaged outback Australia.

[broughie]

@Machpants or good staying power?

[get stuffed]

@RoninWC said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Ripper

[get stuffed]

Did you hear the joke about the robot ? ...he pulled himself to pieces & shot his bolt.

[Frank]

Might have posted this b4 - (saw it in a movie)

Why does Noddy wear a blue (thanks Catogrande) hat with a golden bell on the end of it?

Because he's a c-unt

[Frank]

Why are so many French roads tree-lined?

So the German army can march in the shade.

[Catogrande]

@Frank said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Might have posted this b4 - (saw it in a movie)

Why does Noddy wear a green hat with a golden bell on the end of it?

Because he's a c-unt

Fake news. Noddy wears a blue hat. He is a fluffybunny though.

[Rancid Schnitzel]

Where did Luke Skywalker go to after Darth Vader cut off his hand?

The second hand store.

[MN5]

@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Where did Luke Skywalker go to after Darth Vader cut off his hand?

The second hand store.

Usually I have your back on here but even I have my limits.

[Victor Meldrew]

Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

[Rancid Schnitzel]

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Where did Luke Skywalker go to after Darth Vader cut off his hand?

The second hand store.

Usually I have your back on here but even I have my limits.

It's supposed to be bad/lame. It's a dads joke for the ages.

[MN5]

@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Where did Luke Skywalker go to after Darth Vader cut off his hand?

The second hand store.

Usually I have your back on here but even I have my limits.

It's supposed to be bad/lame. It's a dads joke for the ages.

I can’t fault that logic

[MN5]

[Catogrande]

@Victor-Meldrew said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stick.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.

I am also reminded of telling a lame joke where I was rudely interrupted. The said joke was “what is brown and sounds like a bell? Dunnng!” This bloody Karen shouted out the punchline before I’d even finished the joke so I countered with:

What’s brown and sounds like a fluffybunny?

A brown fluffybunny.

Not very funny but it did shut her up.