Often with such complicated issues it is good to break them down into a more understandable format. So here we have Brexit - the omelette problem.

LEAVER: I want an omelette.

REMAINER: Right. It’s just we haven’t got any eggs.

LEAVER: Yes, we have. There they are. [HE POINTS AT A CAKE]

REMAINER: They’re in the cake.

LEAVER: Yes, get them out of the cake, please.

REMAINER: But we voted in 1974 to put them into a cake.

LEAVER: Yes, but that cake has got icing on it. Nobody said there was going to be icing on it.

REMAINER: Icing is good.

LEAVER: And there are raisins in it. I don’t like raisins. Nobody mentioned raisins. I demand another vote.

DAVID CAMERON ENTERS.

DAVID CAMERON: OK.

DAVID CAMERON SCARPERS.

LEAVER: Right, where’s my omelette?

REMAINER: I told you, the eggs are in the cake.

LEAVER: Well, get them out.

EU: It’s our cake.

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes, get them out now.

REMAINER: I have absolutely no idea how to get them out. Don’t you know how to get them out?

LEAVER: Yes! You just get them out and then you make an omelette.

REMAINER: But how?! Didn’t you give this any thought?

LEAVER: Saboteur! You’re talking eggs down. We could make omelettes before the eggs went into the cake, so there’s no reason why we can’t make them now.

THERESA MAY: It’s OK, I can do it.

REMAINER: How?

THERESA MAY: There was a vote to remove the eggs from the cake, and so the eggs will be removed from the cake.

REMAINER: Yeah, but…

LEAVER: Hang on, if we take the eggs out of the cake, does that mean we don’t have any cake? I didn’t say I didn’t want the cake, just the bits I don’t like.

EU: It’s our cake.

REMAINER: But you can’t take the eggs out of the cake and then still have a cake.

LEAVER: You can. I saw the latest Bake Off and you can definitely make cakes without eggs in them. It’s just that they’re horrible.

REMAINER: Fine. Take the eggs out. See what happens.

LEAVER: It’s not my responsibility to take the eggs out. Get on with it.

REMAINER: Why should I have to come up with some long-winded incredibly difficult chemical process to extract eggs that have bonded at the molecular level to the cake, while somehow still having the cake?

LEAVER: You lost, get over it.

THERESA MAY: By the way, I’ve started the clock on this.

REMAINER: So I assume you have a plan?

THERESA MAY: Actually, back in a bit. Just having another election.

REMAINER: Jeremy, are you going to sort this out?

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes. No. Maybe.

EU: It’s our cake.

LEAVER: Where’s my omelette? I voted for an omelette.

REMAINER: This is ridiculous. This is never going to work. We should have another vote, or at least stop what we’re doing until we know how to get the eggs out of the cake while keeping the bits of the cake that we all like.

LEAVER/MAY/CORBYN: WE HAD A VOTE. STOP SABOTAGING THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE. EGGSIT MEANS EGGSIT.

REMAINER: Fine, I’m moving to France. The cakes are nicer there.

LEAVER: You can’t. We’ve taken your freedom of movement.

@Siam said in All Blacks v BI Lions Test #3:

World rugby's biggest game advertisement in the fallow years between world cups and is influenced by an insecure refereeing system but the gin swillers will be reminding themselves "controversy lasts far longer in the advertiser's eye than a pure spectacle, and think of the clicks we'll get!"

Even the perpetrator knew he was offside playing at the ball!

Still our beloved team only really have themselves to blame

Taking nothing away from the Lions who will take more pride than us over the drawn series.

It was a great series and none of us predicted it thus.

one question though:

Did it feel lucky to draw that?

honest question from an unquestionably biased kiwi

edit: The question was aimed at Lions supporters (lest I lose my arrogance)

Honest answer? Yeah we were lucky in the end. Lucky on a couple of counts, firstly in that for much of the match we were outplayed and only some uncharacteristic balls ups from NZ kept us in the game. Later on we got nearer to parity and if you're there or thereabouts with 10 minutes to go you have to feel that you have a chance of nicking the game. So lucky but dissatisfied. Secondly the non penalty. I did think is was sort of accidental at least instinctive rather than deliberate, but to me it was definitely a penalty. Whether or not Barret would have slotted the kick is another matter and if he hadn't then you lot would just have had something else to make you spew

We rode our luck over two tests and overall the better team did not win, but that's the beauty of sport. Winning great but you watch because of the uncertainty.

Gatland's legacy will go down as a two-time undefeated Lions head coach (a fact he has reminded us of a couple of times already) but in truth this time round he was very lucky. There was no cunning master plan to out-coach NZ. Fair play to him in Australia four years ago, he got that last game spot on though.

I have to say, I find the piling on to Sam Cane a bit distasteful. He’s been a great servant to NZ rugby and has bided his time behind McCaw for many years, maybe his best years. He’s in a shithouse place now and not in great form but also part at a dysfunctional back row.

May not be justifying his captaincy or place atm but does not warrant some of the shit you guys are piling on himself .

@victor-meldrew said in F off with the damn PC Brigade:

Midget Gems renamed after disability campaigner claims word is 'hate speech' to people with dwarfism

Jan 11, 2022

Midget Gems renamed after claims name is hateful towards people with dwarfism

M&S rebrands sweets as Mini Gems, but campaigner claims more companies need to follow suit to abolish ‘deeply insulting’ word

Why would anyone complain about that. What about being the bigger person?

@jegga said in Add Fidel to the 2016 body count:

FFS, how is Yoko Ono is still alive?

A macrobiotic diet. She lives off dead beetles.

Nice quote from David Warner following Faf Du Plessis ball tampering of a couple of years back.

"We hold our heads high and I'd be very disappointed if one of our team members did that.

"The rules are in place for a reason. If you're not going to use them why bother having them?

"If you're going to overstep the mark, be prepared to get fined and miss Test matches."

Well, I watched the game at home and was amazed at the England performance. I thought we had a chance but... Even though we were pretty dominant more or less throughout the game and it was ours to lose almost, there was always in the back of my mind that you just cannot trust a Kiwi to know when to say enough is enough. Having said that I felt reasonably comfortable with four minutes to go and two scores needed but even then... hmmm.

I didn't watch it at the pub as a 9.00 am kick off would have meant ruining the rest of the day but at around 11.40 I got a call from a mate. "I'm down at the Royal Oak and I need someone to talk rugby to. I can't go home and talk to her". So the rest of the day has been washout really. No complaints though.

Thanks to all who have posted congratulations and compliments on our performance. That takes a bit of doing, especially after the success you've had.

No where's that bottle of red?

@mariner4life said in Coronavirus - Media Discussion:

I'm fucking done with listening to the opinions of people who have heard or read the same as me

Well your time on the Fern had to end one day.

Meanwhile, Stuart Hogg announces his retirement post RWC. He's only 31 but has played 100 times for Scotland, so has some miles on the clock. A shame that he's going just as the Sweaties are playing the sort of game that he revels in.

@voodoo I tried watching it a month or so ago and lasted about ten minutes. It was just mayhem. I get that this was the premise of the film but that didn't make it any easier or enjoyable to watch.

One frazzled eyeball out of five confused brains.

One for the Brits and the UK ferners:

Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Biggish.
Biggish who?
No thanks.

If there was an Olympic race for laziness, I would deliberately come fourth so I don’t have to get up on the podium.

@Steve said in 6N Ireland v England:

A few posters are conspicuous in their respective absences from posting since the card was rescinded…….

Not so bombastic now are we.

Whilst I agree the correct decision has been arrived at, I would not be basing my argument on “I was right, World Rugby Judiciary’ decision proves this”.

This one is a case in point. They may have come to the right outcome but how they got there is farcical. They deemed Steward’s actions as reckless, leading with the shoulder and in an upright position. By their own rules that constitutes foul play (whether we agree with that terminology is irrelevant here). They then go on to cite mitigating factors, however my understanding is that, by their own rules, if it is deemed foul play then mitigation does not come into it.

It may be a professional game but it is still being run by amateurs.

@Steve said in 6N Ireland v England:

Shaun Edwards  /  Mar 21  /  Rugby

SHAUN EDWARDS: Freddie Steward's red card was an injustice

Freddie Steward's red card on Saturday - which was rescinded on Wednesday - was an injustice. It was an injustice to himself and also to the England fans who had paid good money for their tickets.

Defence coach extraordinaire Shaun Edwards believes it wasn’t even a penalty.

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of this particular incident, he’s hit it right on the nail about refs taking more responsibility. We’re increasingly seeing the TMO effectively reffing the game and pushing the ref down a particular path.

@Steve said in 6N Ireland v England:

@pakman said in 6N Ireland v England:

Mar 22  /  Sport

Freddie Steward cleared after red card for England in Ireland overturned

England’s Freddie Steward has had the red card he received in the Six Nations clash with Ireland at the weekend rescinded

Well well well. What have we here.

Grand slam is already in the cupboard though isn’t it. These things matter and they need to start getting them right at the time of the incident.

Whilst you’re right about the GS, we’re were hanging on by the skin of our teeth and coming up in second place in virtually every aspect of the game. Irish nerves early on kept us in the game.

@booboo said in Grumpy Old Man:

@Catogrande said in Grumpy Old Man:

@nostrildamus said in Grumpy Old Man:

@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:

Headline fucking news on breakfast news shows this morning.

Ed Sheeran isn't going to take illicit drugs anymore.

Geeeeeeet Fuuuuuuucked who gives a flying fuck and how the fuck is this a top 3 item.

When Sheeran was high writing his 'songs' could anyone tell the difference?
Even Syd Barrett could come up with lyrics like Gigolo Aunt.

Yeah and Syd’s been dead for more than 15 years.

Who?

No. You’re thinking of Keith Moon.

@nostrildamus said in Grumpy Old Man:

@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:

Headline fucking news on breakfast news shows this morning.

Ed Sheeran isn't going to take illicit drugs anymore.

Geeeeeeet Fuuuuuuucked who gives a flying fuck and how the fuck is this a top 3 item.

When Sheeran was high writing his 'songs' could anyone tell the difference?
Even Syd Barrett could come up with lyrics like Gigolo Aunt.

Yeah and Syd’s been dead for more than 15 years.

@Victor-Meldrew

Upvote purely for the introduction of "off-pissing".

But aside from that, you have a point.