Movie review thread...
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Denzels son is really bad in the two movies I’ve seen from him
Weird, I've really liked him the two movies I've seen him in. On Tenet, I'm a need to watch it again to really evaluate it, but Denzel Jnr is the best thing about it - I can't stand the female character and actress and Branagh was pretty average in a nothing role. The vampire kid was decent.
But my point was, @voodoo only needs to watch about 20 odd minutes and he'll know whether it's worth watching. Edit: missed your last sentence originally so disregard this.
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@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
A cross between those movies sounds exceptional.
Mind you Tenet ( cross between Bond and Back to the future ) sounded good but wasn’t so I’m not falling for that again.
I forgot to mention Prometheus and Day after Tomorrow. Whoever wrote the script watched those too.
I like Prometheus the more I see it ( a few times now ) I think it helps set up the Alien universe really well but again, I know others aren’t fans. Supposedly very intelligent scientists acting like fucken retards at times doesn’t help I will admit.
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@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Denzels son is really bad in the two movies I’ve seen from him
Weird, I've really liked him the two movies I've seen him in. On Tenet, I'm a need to watch it again to really evaluate it, but Denzel Jnr is the best thing about it - I can't stand the female character and actress and Branagh was pretty average in a nothing role. The vampire kid was decent.
But my point was, @voodoo only needs to watch about 20 odd minutes and he'll know whether it's worth watching.
The apple has fallen pretty far from the tree in my opinion. Not sure why but he lacks all that makes Denzil great although they do sound exactly the same.
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
A cross between those movies sounds exceptional.
Mind you Tenet ( cross between Bond and Back to the future ) sounded good but wasn’t so I’m not falling for that again.
I forgot to mention Prometheus and Day after Tomorrow. Whoever wrote the script watched those too.
I like Prometheus the more I see it ( a few times now ) I think it helps set up the Alien universe really well but again, I know others aren’t fans. Supposedly very intelligent scientists acting like fucken retards at times doesn’t help I will admit.
I didn't like it much. Build up was ok, but ultimately a big let down for me
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Denzels son is really bad in the two movies I’ve seen from him
Weird, I've really liked him the two movies I've seen him in. On Tenet, I'm a need to watch it again to really evaluate it, but Denzel Jnr is the best thing about it - I can't stand the female character and actress and Branagh was pretty average in a nothing role. The vampire kid was decent.
But my point was, @voodoo only needs to watch about 20 odd minutes and he'll know whether it's worth watching.
The apple has fallen pretty far from the tree in my opinion. Not sure why but he lacks all that makes Denzil great although they do sound exactly the same.
I disagree completely, and I think most of Hollywood and critics agree with me (the latter doesn't really matter but he gets good reviews from them, I guess the former does as it will keep getting him work).
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@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Denzels son is really bad in the two movies I’ve seen from him
Weird, I've really liked him the two movies I've seen him in. On Tenet, I'm a need to watch it again to really evaluate it, but Denzel Jnr is the best thing about it - I can't stand the female character and actress and Branagh was pretty average in a nothing role. The vampire kid was decent.
But my point was, @voodoo only needs to watch about 20 odd minutes and he'll know whether it's worth watching.
The apple has fallen pretty far from the tree in my opinion. Not sure why but he lacks all that makes Denzil great although they do sound exactly the same.
I disagree completely, and I think most of Hollywood and critics agree with me (the latter doesn't really matter but he gets good reviews from them, I guess the former does as it will keep getting him work).
Well Black Klansmen was a whole lot of nothing so that possibly didn’t help.
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Denzels son is really bad in the two movies I’ve seen from him
Weird, I've really liked him the two movies I've seen him in. On Tenet, I'm a need to watch it again to really evaluate it, but Denzel Jnr is the best thing about it - I can't stand the female character and actress and Branagh was pretty average in a nothing role. The vampire kid was decent.
But my point was, @voodoo only needs to watch about 20 odd minutes and he'll know whether it's worth watching.
The apple has fallen pretty far from the tree in my opinion. Not sure why but he lacks all that makes Denzil great although they do sound exactly the same.
I disagree completely, and I think most of Hollywood and critics agree with me (the latter doesn't really matter but he gets good reviews from them, I guess the former does as it will keep getting him work).
Well Black Klansmen was a whole lot of nothing so that possibly didn’t help.
Fuck, now you're having a go at Spike.
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@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Denzels son is really bad in the two movies I’ve seen from him
Weird, I've really liked him the two movies I've seen him in. On Tenet, I'm a need to watch it again to really evaluate it, but Denzel Jnr is the best thing about it - I can't stand the female character and actress and Branagh was pretty average in a nothing role. The vampire kid was decent.
But my point was, @voodoo only needs to watch about 20 odd minutes and he'll know whether it's worth watching.
The apple has fallen pretty far from the tree in my opinion. Not sure why but he lacks all that makes Denzil great although they do sound exactly the same.
I disagree completely, and I think most of Hollywood and critics agree with me (the latter doesn't really matter but he gets good reviews from them, I guess the former does as it will keep getting him work).
Well Black Klansmen was a whole lot of nothing so that possibly didn’t help.
Fuck, now you're having a go at Spike.
He should have done a Tarantino and bowed out on top ( Ive heard he’s not making any more movies )
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@voodoo said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
A cross between those movies sounds exceptional.
Mind you Tenet ( cross between Bond and Back to the future ) sounded good but wasn’t so I’m not falling for that again.
Another I've been meaning to watch (not with kids). It's a no from you?
It’s a great big FUCK NO from me. I really like Nolans previous work but this was just self indulgent awfulness. Denzels son is really bad in the two movies I’ve seen from him……actually another cool black dude Danny Glover has a son that’s quite shite in comparison too but I digress….
Tenet seems to be a movie that divides people so you should probably decide for yourself. @Nepia is a fan, I’d love to read a @Kruse review on it too.
Are you referring to Tenet?
I did do one - https://www.forum.thesilverfern.com/post/547570
but that was before I found my style of deranged ranting bullet points.
I could certainly get drunk, give it another go, and another review. -
Right - on a request from a dirty stinking TSF lurker...
I watched a little thing called...
The Velocipastor
It's your classic "catholic pastor becomes a sort of were-dinosaur"
Trailer:
I'd watched that trailer, and assumed I knew what I was in for.
I was in for a surprise, or several.So....
- Tit-watch: zero. There's a sex scene, which never reveals anything more than a bra. And a montage. A fucking weird montage set to the director's mate's band playing shit music. And at no point does the bra come off. Or any other underwear. In fact, at the end of it - post-coitus, as it were - they're both wearing underwear. Which comes in handy, because then... ninjas!
But, fuck, I'm getting ahead of myself.
- Opening scene sets a really good tone for this thing. Priest, sermon, walks outside - sees his parents by a car - wave, smile, cut away, cut back to where the parents and car WERE - but now it's an empty car-park with text on-screen stating "VFX: car on fire"
This was my first out-loud "what... the... fuck?" - Over the course of this movie - I literally said out loud "... the fuck?" 2 or 3 times, and "What. The. Fuck." another 2 or 3 times. It would have been more, I was tired.
- We meet a pimp. A subtle character. His name is Frankie Mermaid. Why? "Because he's swimming in pussy." He decides to go into confession. "Over the last 4 days? I stole candy from a baby... then I threw that baby into the river... so he couldn't snitch, obviously"
- I noted this dialogue early on, before realising it was fucking low-key compared to the rest:
Hooker: "I don't know much about God"
Priest who's a were-dinosaur: "Well, I don't know much about dinosaurs" - There's one of several montages, with the priest-were-dinosaur working out, for some reason, giving an air-fist-pump, and also burgeoning romance... all mixed together. Why would you work-out if your plan is to use your dinosaur "persona" to fight evil? I don't know... that question becomes the smallest of your worries very quickly
- Ninjas!
All of a sudden there are fucking ninjas. I had some small quibbles with the ninjas early on, but again - they became relatively insignificant in hindsight, after the fucking madness that comes later - Before spoilers - I'll note that there is a scene of the priest reading up on how to use his were-dinosaur-ery... he's reading "All About Dinosaurs", and "Crime 2". That's... kind of a nice little summary of this movie, in some ways
- Oh - there's a Vietnam flashback. This has got a WHOLE lot of what-the-fuckery going on. A fucking WHOLE lot.
- And then... Here be spoilers...
- Fucking ninjas. Just... everything you thought you knew about these ninjas goes out the fucking window.
They're christians.
But... they're drug dealers, I hear you say?
Yeah - but their plan is to get everybody addicted to drugs, and then cut off the supply, so that everybody has to join AA-type meetings, and get converted to Christianity.
And they're chinese.
And one of them is the priest's brother. - And now there's a magic sword.
- And there's a scene of a blood drenched man holding his enemy's head over his own, with a freeze-frame and then the imposed text of a Gandhi quote about eradicating violence
- And then some more What-The-Actual-Fuck-ery with the aid of magical screen text
All in all - I give The Velociraptor - 4.5 good-intentioned christian dinosaurs out of 5 evil-intentioned christian ninjas.
The missing 0.5 - is because for about 10 minutes in the middle of the film - I thought I knew what was going on... and that felt kinda meandering. -
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@mikethesnow said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Between this, and the Al Pacino impressions on another thread...
I was inspired to download and watch Heat.
Pressing PLAY... now. -
@machpants said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse heat is so great, the shoot out scene is just perfect. I can only watch it with no one else in the house, cos it has to be on full volume
Yeah - wasn't it one of the first movies to get professionals in to advise on shit like that exact scene?
They got SWAT to explain how it would actually go down, or something? -
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Right - on a request from a dirty stinking TSF lurker...
I watched a little thing called...
The Velocipastor
It's your classic "catholic pastor becomes a sort of were-dinosaur"
Trailer:
I'd watched that trailer, and assumed I knew what I was in for.
I was in for a surprise, or several.So....
- Tit-watch: zero. There's a sex scene, which never reveals anything more than a bra. And a montage. A fucking weird montage set to the director's mate's band playing shit music. And at no point does the bra come off. Or any other underwear. In fact, at the end of it - post-coitus, as it were - they're both wearing underwear. Which comes in handy, because then... ninjas!
But, fuck, I'm getting ahead of myself.
- Opening scene sets a really good tone for this thing. Priest, sermon, walks outside - sees his parents by a car - wave, smile, cut away, cut back to where the parents and car WERE - but now it's an empty car-park with text on-screen stating "VFX: car on fire"
This was my first out-loud "what... the... fuck?" - Over the course of this movie - I literally said out loud "... the fuck?" 2 or 3 times, and "What. The. Fuck." another 2 or 3 times. It would have been more, I was tired.
- We meet a pimp. A subtle character. His name is Frankie Mermaid. Why? "Because he's swimming in pussy." He decides to go into confession. "Over the last 4 days? I stole candy from a baby... then I threw that baby into the river... so he couldn't snitch, obviously"
- I noted this dialogue early on, before realising it was fucking low-key compared to the rest:
Hooker: "I don't know much about God"
Priest who's a were-dinosaur: "Well, I don't know much about dinosaurs" - There's one of several montages, with the priest-were-dinosaur working out, for some reason, giving an air-fist-pump, and also burgeoning romance... all mixed together. Why would you work-out if your plan is to use your dinosaur "persona" to fight evil? I don't know... that question becomes the smallest of your worries very quickly
- Ninjas!
All of a sudden there are fucking ninjas. I had some small quibbles with the ninjas early on, but again - they became relatively insignificant in hindsight, after the fucking madness that comes later - Before spoilers - I'll note that there is a scene of the priest reading up on how to use his were-dinosaur-ery... he's reading "All About Dinosaurs", and "Crime 2". That's... kind of a nice little summary of this movie, in some ways
- Oh - there's a Vietnam flashback. This has got a WHOLE lot of what-the-fuckery going on. A fucking WHOLE lot.
- And then... Here be spoilers...
- Fucking ninjas. Just... everything you thought you knew about these ninjas goes out the fucking window.
They're christians.
But... they're drug dealers, I hear you say?
Yeah - but their plan is to get everybody addicted to drugs, and then cut off the supply, so that everybody has to join AA-type meetings, and get converted to Christianity.
And they're chinese.
And one of them is the priest's brother. - And now there's a magic sword.
- And there's a scene of a blood drenched man holding his enemy's head over his own, with a freeze-frame and then the imposed text of a Gandhi quote about eradicating violence
- And then some more What-The-Actual-Fuck-ery with the aid of magical screen text
All in all - I give The Velociraptor - 4.5 good-intentioned christian dinosaurs out of 5 evil-intentioned christian ninjas.
The missing 0.5 - is because for about 10 minutes in the middle of the film - I thought I knew what was going on... and that felt kinda meandering.In all seriousness, you should collate all these on a website or something. Much bette than IMDb or Rotten Tomatoes.