Aussie Cricket
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Playing for Australia isn't all it's cracked up to be
Brett Geeves adds his say to the score-settling currently happening in the Aussie cricket books circle.
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@mariner4life said in Aussie Cricket:
Playing for Australia isn't all it's cracked up to be
Brett Geeves adds his say to the score-settling currently happening in the Aussie cricket books circle.
classic
I reckon that's a shitload more honest than anything you'll read in Michael Clarke's book
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This is a great story about Mark Nicholas meeting Kerry Packer. You get the feeling the decline in 9's commentary has a lot to do with him no longer being around.
Here is the key excerpt - Packer's commentary advice:
âWithout warning, he launched into a spellbinding attack on our commentary,â Nicholas wrote. âHe talked quietly but firmly and with a sense of threat. His words were less advice than instruction and the long and short of them was: stop telling us something is interesting, the viewer can decide whether itâs interesting; donât use that word âcleverâ â itâs a game of cricket, thatâs all; stop asking questions of other commentators and excluding the viewer; stop telling us about s*** weather; cut out the in-jokes â weâre not interested in your tennis and golf games or your fish and chips; keep women, kids and blokes who donât play the game in the loop by keeping it simple and explaining it for dummies; call the f***ing game, not the peripherals; tell us about the game but donât analyse everything â itâs not science, itâs a game, and all that analysis is boring; call the game; know the players, know the figures, know the conditions and take us inside the game. Donât lecture. Call the bloody game.â
Looks like they are trying to rectify the current situation though - James Brayshaw has also been punted from the commentary team, thankfully.
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That is outstanding.
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Packer: âSon, stop telling us how fing cold it is in Hobart and how the fieldersâ are wringing their hands and how people are wrapped in anoraks and having a s time. The only people having a s*** time are those of us at home who have to sit here f***ing listening to you.
That's a piece of advice that should be given directly to Bryan Waddle. He seems to often sit there whinging about a game that's going nowhere and heading for a draw. Might be a bit dull for him, but I wouldn't be listening if I wasn't interested.
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@barbarian said in Aussie Cricket:
Looks like they are trying to rectify the current situation though - James Brayshaw has also been punted from the commentary team, thankfully.
Punted or walked? http://www.news.com.au/sport/cricket/james-brayshaw-gone-from-channel-9-cricket-commentary-team/news-story/79791df72d5ab9097f80499f15e8be25
Doesn't matter. The point is, SHAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYNE is still there, so expect shit.
Clarke will be there to hopefully balance the shit out a bit, and get some analysis back into the game.
No surprise Mark Nicholas used a hundred words to say what a dozen could.
Anyway, from the article above:
Mark Nicholas will again be the centre piece of the Channel 9 commentary team with Mark Taylor, Shane Warne, Ian Chappell, Michael Slater, Ian Healy, Clarke and Pietersen to step up to the microphone.
Then a bunch of whatever about Brayshaw's AFL negotiations with 9.
I didn't mind Brayshaw, and understand how a lot don't like him. But at least he was funny. Besides Grumpy Old Chapelli and Shut-The-Fuck-Up Mark, you've got a bunch of bland inanity and Warne just checking his phone for the nearest fake tan salon and hot chicks in the crowd.
It'll still be a dog's breakfast.
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Pietersen and Clark might add some good stuff ( he said clutching at invisible straws )
As I've said on here ( and got shot down for ) to me it always sounds better coming from a guy who has been there and done that. The fact Nicholls is a colossal pommy dickwad who hasn't even played test cricket gives me the screaming shits. Fuck off, no one wants you.
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@MN5 said in Aussie Cricket:
Pietersen and Clark might add some good stuff ( he said clutching at invisible straws )
As I've said on here ( and got shot down for ) to me it always sounds better coming from a guy who has been there and done that. The fact Nicholls is a colossal pommy dickwad who hasn't even played test cricket gives me the screaming shits. Fuck off, no one wants you.
Thing with Nicholas is that he is actually known for being quite an astute reader of the game, particularly from his playing days. But the act he puts on in the commentary box is beyond ridiculous. Here's hoping he heeds some of the advice above...
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Warnie's arrogance is his greatest attribute in the box. He knows the game very well, and doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks, so he tell it.
Clarke is lucky Warnie is there, because after this week it appears the only people in Aus cricket who likes Pup are Pup, and Warnie
Pietersen has been good in the T20 stuff, but lets see what he is like when it's 334-2 on a slow day 3 in Adelaide.
Slater, Healey, Tubby, the pommy fuckwit (oh yeeessss) all offer fuck all. They offer nothing in terms of insight, and it's all blokey back-slapping bullshit, with lashings of over-the-top parochial fuck-knucklery. Thank fuck Lee is gone. He's another arrogant douchebag who offered fuck all.
Chappell is good, especially because he's one of the only ones who will mention when the Aussies have fucked up. Get Punter in, he's great in the Big Bash (and that's from someone who fucking hated him when he played).
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@mariner4life said in Aussie Cricket:
Warnie's arrogance is his greatest attribute in the box. He knows the game very well, and doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks, so he tell it.
Forget his skills with dusting up poontang. He seems to know a lot about cricket too. Talk about attributes any youngster should look up to.
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@MN5 on the flip side, Warnie does say a lot of fucking stupid things these days, diminishing his legend somewhat.
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@mariner4life said in Aussie Cricket:
@MN5 on the flip side, Warnie does say a lot of fucking stupid things these days, diminishing his legend somewhat.
On the flip side, Warnie put away Liz Hurley, enhancing his legend somewhat.
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Whether Brayshaw walked or was sacked, who cares, happy days.
Although the producers should've gone the next step and canned Slater and Healy. Don't mind Taylor so much.
I like the Big Bash team with KP, Ponting, Waugh.
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@nzzp said in Aussie Cricket:
@mariner4life said in Aussie Cricket:
@MN5 on the flip side, Warnie does say a lot of fucking stupid things these days, diminishing his legend somewhat.
On the flip side, Warnie put away Liz Hurley, enhancing his legend somewhat.
2015 Liz Hurley, not 1990s Liz Hurley which would have enhanced his legend immensely.
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@antipodean said in Aussie Cricket:
@nzzp said in Aussie Cricket:
@mariner4life said in Aussie Cricket:
@MN5 on the flip side, Warnie does say a lot of fucking stupid things these days, diminishing his legend somewhat.
On the flip side, Warnie put away Liz Hurley, enhancing his legend somewhat.
2015 Liz Hurley, not 1990s Liz Hurley which would have enhanced his legend immensely.
Actually 2010 Liz Hurley but all that is irrelevant anyway. There's not many that any of us would climb over Liz to get at.
