Guns and Strippers thread! Best ever!
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="NTA" data-cid="602798" data-time="1470217524">
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<p>It's only gay if your balls touch</p>
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<p>Keep telling yourself that George! </p> -
Hush. You're getting in the way of Mokey's sapphic awesomeness.<br><br><br><br><blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Mokey" data-cid="602815" data-time="1470220792"><p>truly priceless moment was the following morning, when the three of us walked out of the guy's bedroom into the kitchen where his flatmate was eating breakfast. The look on the flatmate's face.</p></blockquote>
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At that point, it didn't even matter if the guy got his end wet. The flatmate was going to think he was a fucking legend. -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Mokey" data-cid="602815" data-time="1470220792">
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<p>The other two were casual fuckbuddies who were residents. And after a few drinks, when it got to cab time, the guy says 'I think you should come home with us'. Well of course, when you are tipsy and far from home and newly single, everything sounds like a grand idea. So I did.</p>
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<p>The guy was a good kisser. But the girl was way better, and we kissed for ages. Until the guy got bored. He got bored several times when the girl and I got absorbed in each other. She had amazing tits. Real, but like size G or something. Blah blah swap swap fuck fuck for most of the night. Lots of fun had by all, but I honestly don't think the girl and I would have minded if the guy had left. It was kind of an annoyance, oh shit, yeah, there is a cock. (It was a perfectly fine, proficient cock, but when you are in the mood for lady, just meh.)</p>
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<p>A truly priceless moment was the following morning, when the three of us walked out of the guy's bedroom into the kitchen where his flatmate was eating breakfast. The look on the flatmate's face.</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Mokey" data-cid="602815" data-time="1470220792">
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<p>Blah blah swap swap fuck fuck for most of the night. </p>
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<p>Pfft. You call yourself a writer . . . </p>
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<p>pulls pants back up</p> -
<p>I thought Mokey taught kids to speak English somewhere in the world...I can imagine them going home after school, so child what did you leanr to day...</p>
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<p>oh mum, it was great, 'blah blah blah, fuck' I love English.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="taniwharugby" data-cid="602868" data-time="1470260639"><p>
I thought Mokey taught kids to speak English somewhere in the world...I can imagine them going home after school, so child what did you leanr to day...<br><br>
oh mum, it was great, 'blah blah blah, fuck' I love English.</p></blockquote>
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"How was school"<br>
"Cool , we learnt that 69 can be a number or a noun or a verb"<br>
" um...,,,what?" -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="taniwharugby" data-cid="602868" data-time="1470260639">
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<p>I thought Mokey taught kids to speak English somewhere in the world...I can imagine them going home after school, so child what did you leanr to day...</p>
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<p>oh mum, it was great, 'blah blah blah, fuck' I love English.</p>
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<p> I did. And let me tell you a story...they didn't need me for 'learning'.</p>
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<p>I had only just started teaching at my morning kindy job, and the first thing we did was exercise time. I will never, ever forget the tape that some Chinese assistant teacher was using. It was a mix tape. And included the song 'heeeeeyyyy we want some pussy'. Cos you know. Pussy. Hello Kitty. All these 3/4/5/6 year olds waving their arms and singing along.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Mokey" data-cid="602871" data-time="1470261278">
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<p> I did. And let me tell you a story...they didn't need me for 'learning'.</p>
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<p>I had only just started teaching at my morning kindy job, and the first thing we did was exercise time. I will never, ever forget the tape that some Chinese assistant teacher was using. It was a mix tape. And included the song 'heeeeeyyyy we want some pussy'. Cos you know. Pussy. Hello Kitty. All these 3/4/5/6 year olds waving their arms and singing along.</p>
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<p>Ah the innocence of yoof</p> -
Inside the Federal Bureau Of Way Too Many Guns
There's no telling how many guns we have in America—and when one gets used in a crime, no way for the cops to connect it to its owner. The only place the police can turn for help is a Kafkaesque agency in West Virginia, where, thanks to the gun lobby, computers are illegal and detective work is absurdly antiquated. On purpose.
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@Tim said in Guns and Strippers thread! Best ever!:
Inside the Federal Bureau Of Way Too Many Guns
Thing is, the geniuses who work there are quietly inventing ways to do the impossible
Sounds like my work. But WITH computers.
I just can't believe the gun lobby puts that kind of "privacy" above the lives of its citizens. All because of some kooky law designed to "protect" gun owners and the 2nd Amendment they live under from losing their guns in a massive government crackdown.
Fucking hell.
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@NTA said in Guns and Strippers thread! Best ever!:
@Tim said in Guns and Strippers thread! Best ever!:
Inside the Federal Bureau Of Way Too Many Guns
Thing is, the geniuses who work there are quietly inventing ways to do the impossible
Sounds like my work. But WITH computers.
I just can't believe the gun lobby puts that kind of "privacy" above the lives of its citizens. All because of some kooky law designed to "protect" gun owners and the 2nd Amendment they live under from losing their guns in a massive government crackdown.
Fucking hell.
It's all BS, the 2nd amendment was never meant to allow the madness they have now. This is an article I read a while back about how the gun lobby has hijacked the 2nd amendment
https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2015-10-07/how-the-gun-lobby-rewrote-the-second-amendment
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Interesting survey reported in the Grauniad which reckons that over 50% of the registered guns in use in the US are held by just 3% of Americans. That this 3% have on average 17 guns each. FFS.
Sorry no stripper element.
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@Rocky-Rockbottom said in Guns and Strippers thread! Best ever!:
@NTA said in Guns and Strippers thread! Best ever!: NSFW - but if you've ever seen Jim Jeffries, you'd know that
wft is wrong with me, just dawned on me that dont think I've ever laughed at anything he's ever said. This after going thru his youtube clips/podcasts Opie & Anthony etc.
Just strikes me as a cocksure aussie with a few too many tickets on himself.
Plus after a few clips you notice he cuts off EVERYONE mid-sentence so he can slowly continue talking about himself some more and do some more namedropping. Plus his whole colonial educating of the seppos thing got old fast. The yanks are busting a gut but I'm thinking wft this just sounds like some drip down the pub cracking a fat over the sound of his own voice
I'm guessing you've been listening to those clips where he's being interviewed by some seppos?
I actually got pissed off with the seppo hosts more, as they kept interrupting and stopping him before he got to his punchlines... with their own name-dropping radio-DJ schtick.
But yeah, if they're the clips you're watching... he probably comes across pretty bad when he keeps trying to get back to the story he started... which would sound exactly like name-dropping wank until he gets to the end.
To give him a decent chance, it's worth watching his actual stand-up, where he can finish his material. -
This thread was great fun. And with the new software, it's amazing to see @Tim 's first post and then re-read what it devolved in to.
The software handover makes some of the formatting and quoting a little hard to decifer, but it was great work all-round
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