Parenting
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Has it always been this way or is life for our kids just that more stressful? My niece is about 15 and gets very anxious about life stuff. Boys and girls I know, but when I was that age I didn't really think things through that deeply
I often ask that question about whether it's just "now" or if we had the same stuff.
We definitely had bullying - mental and physical.
But I don't think we had as much mental overstimulation as kids when I was growing up in the 80s and early 90s. IMHO there wasn't as much FOMO except the stuff you did see at school like the rich kid who had nicer sneakers, or whether they had better holidays than you.
Now it is 24/7/365 information and showing you how to look/think/feel. With Miss TA as an example, when she gets too much free time inside her own head, the spiral can begin. Like last night when Mrs TA got her up and about to help with organising dance practice today, she perked up. But a late-ish night and maybe too much time on the phone and it erodes that bouyancy.
"Less time on screens" sounds like an easy answer from a boomer
but I think there is something in the disconnection. Quite often Miss TA has her Macbook open in front of Netflix on the couch while typing on her phone.And I'm guilty of TV + Phone as well. So perhaps there is something we all need to improve on...
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Further to that: kids are told they should be "happy" all the time and this stuff like "find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life".
So as soon as something isn't 100% to expectation the pressure is there to ask why they're not happy. What is the issue? Maybe it's them?
I don't think that was an illusion I ever lived under. Life was just life and you got on with whatever was in front of you. Suicides happened, but they weren't really talked about, particularly in the bush. It wasn't even a "couldn't hack it" thing. Just a fact of life (and death).
Kids got out, injured themselves and just carried on unless it was a broken bone. Now you see them in moon boots or soft casts and things. Just a different landscape.
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"Less time on screens" sounds like an easy answer from a boomer
but I think there is something in the disconnection. Quite often Miss TA has her Macbook open in front of Netflix on the couch while typing on her phone.And I'm guilty of TV + Phone as well. So perhaps there is something we all need to improve on...
We are all guilty of that and disconnecting. I get back to you with how successful I am this weekend :-).
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Ah FFS now the boy comes home from his job upset tonight.
RSA related. Two young blokes enter the store. One buys alcohol and Sam checks his ID, but the other one is nowhere to be seen. Other staff are on the radio telling him to check the other guys ID but he didn't get what they meant as he was serving other customers.
Incident report was written up, and the shift manager is talking to him about written warnings and fines. To the kid who started 3 weeks ago and is doing his first night shift. Yeah thanks fluffybunny. If you were on the radio about the other kid being potentially underage, why didn't you check him yourself?
😡
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Ah FFS now the boy comes home from his job upset tonight.
RSA related. Two young blokes enter the store. One buys alcohol and Sam checks his ID, but the other one is nowhere to be seen. Other staff are on the radio telling him to check the other guys ID but he didn't get what they meant as he was serving other customers.
Incident report was written up, and the shift manager is talking to him about written warnings and fines. To the kid who started 3 weeks ago and is doing his first night shift. Yeah thanks fluffybunny. If you were on the radio about the other kid being potentially underage, why didn't you check him yourself?
😡
Is he getting paid 60K for this shit? I'm assuming it's a part-time gig...
When did the fun go out of everything in Oz/NZ?
I say this as I couldn't buy 100 odd dollars worth of grog (including one really fucking nice bottle of vino) because my (28 year old!) fiancee forgot her passport and they wouldn't accept her Japanese license as proof of her age.
Most amazing scene I've ever been part of when the guy (who is about half my goddamn age and defo younger than her) tells me I'm possibly supplying booze to a minor, so no go. I'm standing there (trying to buy) booze to enjoy with my Mum and Dad after getting engaged, and despite the fact that this was not Marque Vue but was fucking Mount Difficulty, and despite the fact of her wearing a huge diamond, and despite the fact she had multiple forms of ID, I still walked out with nothing.
So, in case you are wondering, Countdown in Morrinsville can suck balls. Do your shopping at the New World.
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Is he getting paid 60K for this shit? I'm assuming it's a part-time gig...
$26.60 an hour. Not bad for a kid with no responsibilities. But fucking hell relax you dickheads!
If he checked the ID of the person buying the alcohol, and the minor was outside the store, then the customer will get the fine anyway for supplying.
That's IF anybody bothers to charge them i.e. the little underage shit gets busted by his parents IF his parents even care.
On top of all that, the mother in law (trapped in her own body with dementia) tested positive for Covid today.
Yay life
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Is he getting paid 60K for this shit? I'm assuming it's a part-time gig...
$26.60 an hour. Not bad for a kid with no responsibilities. But fucking hell relax you dickheads!
If he checked the ID of the person buying the alcohol, and the minor was outside the store, then the customer will get the fine anyway for supplying.
That's IF anybody bothers to charge them i.e. the little underage shit gets busted by his parents IF his parents even care.
On top of all that, the mother in law (trapped n get Ian body with dementia) tested positive for Covid today.
Yay life
$27 an hour, wholly fuck the world outside Japan is a different planet!
My university students are getting paid $12-$15an hour.
Not good about the MIL.
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Is he getting paid 60K for this shit? I'm assuming it's a part-time gig...
$26.60 an hour. Not bad for a kid with no responsibilities. But fucking hell relax you dickheads!
If he checked the ID of the person buying the alcohol, and the minor was outside the store, then the customer will get the fine anyway for supplying.
That's IF anybody bothers to charge them i.e. the little underage shit gets busted by his parents IF his parents even care.
On top of all that, the mother in law (trapped n get Ian body with dementia) tested positive for Covid today.
Yay life
Those laws are insanely stupid.
My 70 yr old mother couldn’t buy a bottle of wine as my 38 year old wife was with her and didn’t have ID.
It literally prevents nothing.
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@MajorRage said in Parenting:
Is he getting paid 60K for this shit? I'm assuming it's a part-time gig...
$26.60 an hour. Not bad for a kid with no responsibilities. But fucking hell relax you dickheads!
If he checked the ID of the person buying the alcohol, and the minor was outside the store, then the customer will get the fine anyway for supplying.
That's IF anybody bothers to charge them i.e. the little underage shit gets busted by his parents IF his parents even care.
On top of all that, the mother in law (trapped n get Ian body with dementia) tested positive for Covid today.
Yay life
Those laws are insanely stupid.
My 70 yr old mother couldn’t buy a bottle of wine as my 38 year old wife was with her and didn’t have ID.
It literally prevents nothing.
@MajorRage said in Parenting:
Is he getting paid 60K for this shit? I'm assuming it's a part-time gig...
$26.60 an hour. Not bad for a kid with no responsibilities. But fucking hell relax you dickheads!
If he checked the ID of the person buying the alcohol, and the minor was outside the store, then the customer will get the fine anyway for supplying.
That's IF anybody bothers to charge them i.e. the little underage shit gets busted by his parents IF his parents even care.
On top of all that, the mother in law (trapped n get Ian body with dementia) tested positive for Covid today.
Yay life
Those laws are insanely stupid.
My 70 yr old mother couldn’t buy a bottle of wine as my 38 year old wife was with her and didn’t have ID.
It literally prevents nothing.
Good way of slipping in a quiet boast about marrying a girl 15 years younger. Good skills mate. 😉
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@Catogrande oh to be that young.
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@NTA yeah TR jnr is on $23 or so working checkouts at the supermarket and as a 16 year old he was given the responsibility of checking IDs for alcohol...but the ultimate responsibility is on the shift supervisor.
On TR, officially left school 3 weeks ago...now just bumming around living the life, isn't picking up extra shifts cos it would interfere with his social life.
Fortunately he has been meeting with a careers advisor who has some options for him, although coming into Xmas...
He is also seeing the careers advisors well-being person, who I know, although TR Jnr only met him in their workplace.
Some of the things he has seen and briefly mentions breaks your heart, he reckons teens of today do deal with things differently and covid has also changed the playing field.
TR jnr is a little fucker at the moment,and screentime, phone more so than gaming at moment is an issue...but he's 17, what do you do.
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@taniwharugby said in Parenting:
@NTA yeah TR jnr is on $23 or so working checkouts at the supermarket and as a 16 year old he was given the responsibility of checking IDs for alcohol...but the ultimate responsibility is on the shift supervisor
Has to be as he's not an adult? Do they have RSA over there in the same way?
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@taniwharugby said in Parenting:
@NTA yeah TR jnr is on $23 or so working checkouts at the supermarket and as a 16 year old he was given the responsibility of checking IDs for alcohol...but the ultimate responsibility is on the shift supervisor
Has to be as he's not an adult? Do they have RSA over there in the same way?
In NZ RSA is the RSL ... I used to/still get confused when talking RSA (Responsible Service of Alcohol accreditation for the uninitiated).
Don't recall it specifically, but I left NZ 18 years ago, pretty certain they'd have similar/equivalent though.
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I'm still very much in the toddler stage with the boys, waiting for them to grow up a bit more so they don't think picking up the vacuum cleaner and whacking the TV with it is a good idea. You guys probably yearn for the days when the problems were so simple
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@NTA for me it's more that a kid that can't buy alcohol is required to ID check people for it...but your normal checkout operators aren't able to, they have to call someone who is approved to sell and therefore ID check.
He has pulled up shoplifters before, that I didn't think he had in him.
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@taniwharugby said in Parenting:
@NTA for me it's more that a kid that can't buy alcohol is required to ID check people for it...but your normal checkout operators aren't able to, they have to call someone who is approved to sell and therefore ID check.
Because of our liquor licensing setup, we can't sell alcohol in supermarkets.
Everyone who works in a bottle shop needs to have Responsible Service of Alcohol (RSA) qualifications as a result, and while you can get RSA underage (16+), it sometimes isn't worth the hassle for employers.
Will be interesting to see if he's up for his shift today given they've talked about a "discussion" on Tuesday with the Manager. His weekday manager is nice and encouraging but it is clear that whatever took place last night, whoever handled it, has scared the shit out of him and shot his confidence.
It is a shame as the company he works for was until recently part of my corporation so while I'm tempted to go in there and swing the Head Office badge, I'd rather just do it as a concerned Dad who thinks maybe they need to tweak their culture a bit.
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Dropped him off at work today, and had a quick word with the manager on duty, who happened to be the guy on last night. Not much older than The Boy.... looked like a fairly anxious chap himself.
I basically just wanted to let him know The Boy was in a fair bit of distress last night and Manager Guy was actually pretty understanding, having been through it himself. Mentioned that the comms had come over the earpiece multiple times, and that it was a mistake but they follow that procedure in order to make sure they've got as much coverage as possible.
I have a reasonable amount of sympathy for that - big retailer, reputational damage blah blah blah. He also could see The Boy was stressed out and reassured him it was nothing to worry about last night, and probably will again today.
He said there's nothing to worry about, and that he had three "First and Final Warnings", which made me smile and mention "Final" was being made a mockery of.
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Will be interesting to see if he's up for his shift today given they've talked about a "discussion" on Tuesday with the Manager. His weekday manager is nice and encouraging but it is clear that whatever took place last night, whoever handled it, has scared the shit out of him and shot his confidence.
So they had to read back the RSA potential penalties to him at the discussion, and he's freaking out about jail and fines etc.
Hard to get through to an 18yo kid that in his first job that it's just standard protocol and they're unlikely to act on it in any meaningful way.
Plus they just sent through 9 shifts for the next fortnight so they can't be ready to shitcan him just yet.
