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@mariner4life where abouts in Hobart by the way? we were very close to moving late last year but in the end just didn't know enough about what life would be like to make the call
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@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life where abouts in Hobart by the way? we were very close to moving late last year but in the end just didn't know enough about what life would be like to make the call
Battery Point is amazing
But i hope your wife makes good coin... -
@mariner4life ok yeah, we did like the looks of being so close, but even money aside its real small and there just weren't many places to buy or rent
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@majorrage said in Happiness Scale:
@victor-meldrew said in Happiness Scale:
@catogrande said in Happiness Scale:
Oh and when you’re down in Devon be sure to catch up with @Victor-Meldrew he”s not far away 😁
Yeah, but only if he knows how to put the jam on his scones.
Euphemism?
Regardless, it’s unlikely I’ll know it.
Big debate between Devon and Cornwall on whether it's jam then clotted cream on scones or the other way around when you have cream teas...
Pleased you've got your plans for 2022 sorted. We're on hold - again - which is seriously pissing me off. That, coupled with my irrational but deep hatred of January and February, has put me in a bit of a shit place. Know what I need to do to get out of it, but can't be arsed. It will pass.
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people who put the jam above the cream are an abomination in the eyes of the lord, and should be driven from the face of the earth with fire and fury
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@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
but the serious part was i said we needed to be open to opportunity. if something comes up, we can't be afraid to give it a lash.
Easier said than done obviously, but...Fuck yes. All of this.
I looked in every real estate window I could find around Nelson Bay and came to one conclusion: the average house price in my current suburb means I could sell up here and be mortgage-free there. Wife could find work in healthcare pretty much anywhere and I could be a kept man.
Or just work the occasional contract remotely. Whatevs.
The only thing keeping me in situ is kids finishing High School (2025) and mother-in-law not yet dead from dementia complications (202?)
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@crazy-horse said in Happiness Scale:
I think the last couple of years have been harder for me because, like others have said, travel is something that I used to keep me sane.
I am in danger of wishing my life away. I can't wait for the shift to end, I can't wait for my days off, I can't wait to retire...Eight years is an awfully long time to feel like that, even if there's light at the end of the tunnel this year in terms of pre-covid normalcy.
The suggestions to pivot into something else is a good idea IMO. I've done career changes and at various points in my life implemented a work-life balance of work until the job is done and then take time off. Hence big pressure project work appealed to me. The last couple of years has seen that morph into investing less emotionally in my work. An approach I callously describe as IDGAF when professionally I do care, but not to the detriment of my health and sanity. Watching arbitrary deadlines slide by has been cathartic as has new employers/ industries.
I'd say care less about getting to the end and more about enjoying the now - you never know what's going to happen. A great quote I have: The most dangerous risk of all - the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.
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@antipodean said in Happiness Scale:
. A great quote I have: The most dangerous risk of all - the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.
Wish Mrs TA would adhere to that. She scurries around doing her job like she's under performance review. Even when she's a high achiever in her role.
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I'm probably due an update here given I started this thread in Dec-20 - but I'm on a shitty wifi and my fingers can't tap on the phone well, so it'll have to wait a few days. But it's super interesting to skip back to the top of the the thread and see how people have/haven't changed over a 2nd very strange year.
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@nta said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
but the serious part was i said we needed to be open to opportunity. if something comes up, we can't be afraid to give it a lash.
Easier said than done obviously, but...Fuck yes. All of this.
I looked in every real estate window I could find around Nelson Bay and came to one conclusion: the average house price in my current suburb means I could sell up here and be mortgage-free there. Wife could find work in healthcare pretty much anywhere and I could be a kept man.
Or just work the occasional contract remotely. Whatevs.
The only thing keeping me in situ is kids finishing High School (2025) and mother-in-law not yet dead from dementia complications (202?)
We look at RE everywhere we holiday, but will never leave Sydney I reckon. 3 things:
- friends and family, very important to my wife
- kids school (same as NTA), wouldn't leave until they'd finished so that's another 10yrs
- it's a one way ticket if you sell out of Sydney
The 3rd one is probably the main one for me. Knowing that once you leave the Sydney property market, you ain't coming back unless you invest extremely well. That's all well and good if you have somewhere puking you (like friends who have returned to NZ). But for a sea/tree change, I would be seriously nervous about it.
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@nta said in Happiness Scale:
Wish Mrs TA would adhere to that. She scurries around doing her job like she's under performance review. Even when she's a high achiever in her role.
that attitude is often why people are successful, and it's damn hard to leave behind. Habits are deeply deeply ingrained in folk
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@voodoo said in Happiness Scale:
@nta said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
but the serious part was i said we needed to be open to opportunity. if something comes up, we can't be afraid to give it a lash.
Easier said than done obviously, but...Fuck yes. All of this.
I looked in every real estate window I could find around Nelson Bay and came to one conclusion: the average house price in my current suburb means I could sell up here and be mortgage-free there. Wife could find work in healthcare pretty much anywhere and I could be a kept man.
Or just work the occasional contract remotely. Whatevs.
The only thing keeping me in situ is kids finishing High School (2025) and mother-in-law not yet dead from dementia complications (202?)
We look at RE everywhere we holiday, but will never leave Sydney I reckon. 3 things:
- friends and family, very important to my wife
- kids school (same as NTA), wouldn't leave until they'd finished so that's another 10yrs
> - it's a one way ticket if you sell out of Sydney
The 3rd one is probably the main one for me. Knowing that once you leave the Sydney property market, you ain't coming back unless you invest extremely well. That's all well and good if you have somewhere puking you (like friends who have returned to NZ). But for a sea/tree change, I would be seriously nervous about it.
we very much had this as a concern when thinking about Tassie, only way we could reconcile with it was planning to keep our melbourne place and rent in Tassie, just look at it as an adventure/opportunity for 1-2 years and re assess
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Man, I dodged this thread near the end of last year. Wasn't in a great space and took a while for that to become apparent, where I couldn't fool myself about being extra stressed or it being a temporary thing. A holiday break helped but any hols with young kids is just a different type of busy lol. Still a great change from work and the daily grind.
Plans on the go at work to move some stuff around - but the usual lack of competent folks (who aren't already overworked) to delegate to will make that hard to manage. Kids are great, aside from Mr 2 being weaned against his will (I mean, who turns down boobs!), and the wife and I are good.
We've got some medium sized reno's planned but I keep looking at new jobs or wondering about a break then re-entering the job market. But I think that's more to help me focus on what I like about my current mahi. On a good day I'd be a fool to leave and on a bad day I just feel crushed under the pressure. Luckily I have far more good days than bad ones
That quote from @antipodean really resonated with me. What the fuck are we doing if we can't find some pleasure in the here and now. Easier to say than do, but I'm going to try and focus on that through 2022. But my short term goal is to get my thicc self back the gym. Exercise = happier Paekakboyz. No question.
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@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
@nta said in Happiness Scale:
Wish Mrs TA would adhere to that. She scurries around doing her job like she's under performance review. Even when she's a high achiever in her role.
that attitude is often why people are successful, and it's damn hard to leave behind. Habits are deeply deeply ingrained in folk
Agreed, and I'd understand if she was using that to push on to higher honours. She's made the job about as efficient as it is going to get over 5 years, but from all indications she still micro-manages everyone there. That behaviour has leaked over into our home life - the teens and I are fed up with it, TBH.
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@victor-meldrew said in Happiness Scale:
That, coupled with my irrational but deep hatred of January and February
There is nothing irrational about hating the depths of winter. I'm the same with July / August here. I don't mind the cold it's the sunlight deprivation. I did 13 winters i n Europe. I don't think I could now. It's why travel is so important. When the days start drawing in I usually console myself that in a few weeks I will be in some shithole of a bar in the mid 30's and 95% humidity. My sort of place
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@antipodean said in Happiness Scale:
The most dangerous risk of all - the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.
That was me. When my wife got ill I worked very fucking hard to clear the mortgage in six years which made sense but then I kept it up. 80 hour weeks no holidays for a decade and a caregiver all with the misguided ambition of retiring at 55. The way I was going I wasn't going to get to 55.
Then the opportunity came to charter a yacht round the greek islands and it changed my life. Helped by the GFC happening while I was sailing I guess. By the time I retire I'll have worked another decade but I'm alive and I have had some fun on the way - even allowing for the last two years
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I hate this thread, well thats a lie, I find it therapeutic, I think I just find it difficult to process some of the shit that others go through and appear to be so resilient about it and then when reflecting on my wife and I and how we should be doing better.
January on a whole is a tough month mentally for her and she hates her job, but she likes the income and proximty to home, she would leave but has anxiety about finding another job. Its also the anniversary of my wifes Mothers death today which is another trigger of my wife's depression and also she is currently injured, so she cant exercise either so it gets worse.
So things not so great right now at home
Cant say I always like what I do either and I have terrible hours, probably need a long break (which would help both of us) and a change, but I like the money.
Some inspiring words in this thread, although putting it into practice isnt always so easy
...hoping to be more positive next time
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@bayimports not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I find it's much easier to concentrate on small steps than the end picture. So anything that adds some happiness or enjoyment makes it easier to continue making small iterative changes that add up. And you never know what opportunities those may present.
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@antipodean said in Happiness Scale:
@bayimports not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I find it's much easier to concentrate on small steps than the end picture. So anything that adds some happiness or enjoyment makes it easier to continue making small iterative changes that add up. And you never know what opportunities those may present.
The thing I like most about this thread is the contribution from all like yourself without trying to claim they are experts, just what has worked for them. I do appreciate all of it, hopefully I can get my head into a better space soon to help others as well
cheers
Happiness Scale
