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@l_n_p thanks for your thoughts. Your perspective has been interesting. I can definitely relate to your 'timeframe'.
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@mn5 I don't have kids, but I have often looked at people with them and wondered how the hell they do it.
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@crazy-horse said in Happiness Scale:
@mn5 I don't have kids, but I have often looked at people with them and wondered how the hell they do it.
Seemed doable and a great idea at the timeā¦ā¦good old hindsight and all of thatā¦..
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@crazy-horse said in Happiness Scale:
@l_n_p thanks for your thoughts. Your perspective has been interesting. I can definitely relate to your 'timeframe'.
A few things happened over a few year from 45 on ... I had redefined my views on success. My replacement at work literally dropped dead age 40 on a project I was working on - a freak undiagnosed pre-condition, but overwork and stress also ... I saw a younger version of me there. A bit later my daughter was about to leave home (finances)
Finally I pushed the "one more time" move to another company at 50ish ... great role, perfect fit, a bit of a change, less stress - seemed great tbh? But after the excitement of settling, say 4 months in I still felt the same old grind you mentioned
Not sure what's next, only that a time-out has started let me rediscover my self identity in a way totally de-linked from work
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@majorrage said in Happiness Scale:
I was todays years old when I learned you could go ski-ing in Turkey.
Let us know what it's like. Not been to Turkey before and would love to go there to do something different.
Back safe & sound
Excellent trip
The people were very friendly, the food excellent, the snow gods smiled down on us
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@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
I've realised I'm an active relaxer, but retiring 'from' rather than 'to' fills me with deep apprehension.
My biggest problem has always been relaxing. I jump out of bed and it's one job after another for at least 12 hours a day. When I travel I'm the one out the door at 7:00 am and not back until 11. Definitely not a sit on the beach type. Over the last few years I have tried to train myself to just sit and people watch and let it all go, but it's a struggle.
I tell people that I am ready for retirement but I wonder if I truly am. Travel is a big part of the plan. Otherwise it's just doing what I already like but with the time to actually do it.
It'll be obvious to you when I do finally retire. Either I will be on here all day (not going well) or not at all (going splendidly).
@Crazy-Horse Mate your situation sounds too tough. Eight years is too long. As for the conflicted emotions about your job. Fuck! I don't know what to say, but something has to change. Either somehow rediscover what about it gave you satisfaction or take the big step of getting the hell out. You say have to retire. Will you still need another job after that? If you do then maybe it's time now??
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@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
Covid's crazy though, and with no international travel what the hell does retirement even look like? I've realised I'm an active relaxer, but retiring 'from' rather than 'to' fills me with deep apprehension.
Leaving your job for the last time can be a very challenging thing to do, in my experience. I āretiredā at 52. I was moving back here to NZ anyway so it seemed like everything was aligning and the time was right. But when my last day actually came I was not prepared. I had flights arranged for a couple of days after, we were looking forward to living in NZ, I had no money worries. But the truth is I didnāt know what I was for anymore. Iād worked for my company for 25 years. Apart from getting married to Mrs JC, pretty much everything meaningful Iād done in my life was wrapped up in my job. Thatās a very confronting thing to realise to be honest.
I think for many of us who donāt have kids the only thing we can pass on is what we know, and the place we do that mostly is at work. If you take that away whatās left? Iām not particularly creative and havenāt been blessed with the coaching gene so lacked an outlet for doing anything meaningful. I did some work with charities (still do) but ultimately I started working again because fundamentally itās what I do. I analyse things. I direct people. Retirement just doesnāt give you those opportunities.
I think some of us just need to accept that for us it's not a bad thing that thereās no realistic chance of ever stopping work. We just need to find something different to do with our time, and as long as we are doing it because we like it rather than through necessity thatās OK.
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@jc said in Happiness Scale:
I think for many of us who donāt have kids the only thing we can pass on is what we know, and the place we do that mostly is at work. If you take that away whatās left?
For those of us with kids the empty nest looks like a similar situation. My wife looks like she is struggling with the mere prospect of it happening, and our kids are a long way from being financially independent enough to actually move out.
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@jc said in Happiness Scale:
@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
Covid's crazy though, and with no international travel what the hell does retirement even look like? I've realised I'm an active relaxer, but retiring 'from' rather than 'to' fills me with deep apprehension.
Leaving your job for the last time can be a very challenging thing to do, in my experience. I āretiredā at 52. I was moving back here to NZ anyway so it seemed like everything was aligning and the time was right. But when my last day actually came I was not prepared. I had flights arranged for a couple of days after, we were looking forward to living in NZ, I had no money worries. But the truth is I didnāt know what I was for anymore. Iād worked for my company for 25 years. Apart from getting married to Mrs JC, pretty much everything meaningful Iād done in my life was wrapped up in my job. Thatās a very confronting thing to realise to be honest.
I think for many of us who donāt have kids the only thing we can pass on is what we know, and the place we do that mostly is at work. If you take that away whatās left? Iām not particularly creative and havenāt been blessed with the coaching gene so lacked an outlet for doing anything meaningful. I did some work with charities (still do) but ultimately I started working again because fundamentally itās what I do. I analyse things. I direct people. Retirement just doesnāt give you those opportunities.
I think some of us just need to accept that for us it's not a bad thing that thereās no realistic chance of ever stopping work. We just need to find something different to do with our time, and as long as we are doing it because we like it rather than through necessity thatās OK.
jesus thats hit me like a train, we dont have have no plans for kids and so could/will be in a very similar situation, we have friends in their 50's who retired and have gone back to work for very similar reasons
fuck thats actually making me feel anxious
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@jc said in Happiness Scale:
I think some of us just need to accept that for us it's not a bad thing that thereās no realistic chance of ever stopping work. We just need to find something different to do with our time, and as long as we are doing it because we like it rather than through necessity thatās OK.
Go run a rugby club
Driving around the Port Stephens area of NSW I saw rugby clubs everywhere, and remarked to Mrs TA that I was set like a jelly if we ever wanted to move here
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@nta said in Happiness Scale:
@jc said in Happiness Scale:
I think some of us just need to accept that for us it's not a bad thing that thereās no realistic chance of ever stopping work. We just need to find something different to do with our time, and as long as we are doing it because we like it rather than through necessity thatās OK.
Go run a rugby club
Driving around the Port Stephens area of NSW I saw rugby clubs everywhere, and remarked to Mrs TA that I was set like a jelly if we ever wanted to move here
The problem with that plan is that everything I know about rugby I learned on the Fern. So pretty clueless really.
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@jc do what im doing and just use it to get your foot in the door and then start learning, the even asked me to manage the 1's this year!
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@jc said in Happiness Scale:
@nta said in Happiness Scale:
@jc said in Happiness Scale:
I think some of us just need to accept that for us it's not a bad thing that thereās no realistic chance of ever stopping work. We just need to find something different to do with our time, and as long as we are doing it because we like it rather than through necessity thatās OK.
Go run a rugby club
Driving around the Port Stephens area of NSW I saw rugby clubs everywhere, and remarked to Mrs TA that I was set like a jelly if we ever wanted to move here
The problem with that plan is that everything I know about rugby I learned on the Fern. So pretty clueless really.
You've got a fair bit of organisational experience, and I assume communication skills
That's a start. You don't have to coach!
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@jc said in Happiness Scale:
@nta said in Happiness Scale:
@jc said in Happiness Scale:
I think some of us just need to accept that for us it's not a bad thing that thereās no realistic chance of ever stopping work. We just need to find something different to do with our time, and as long as we are doing it because we like it rather than through necessity thatās OK.
Go run a rugby club
Driving around the Port Stephens area of NSW I saw rugby clubs everywhere, and remarked to Mrs TA that I was set like a jelly if we ever wanted to move here
The problem with that plan is that everything I know about rugby I learned on the Fern. So pretty clueless really.
From my experience of club administration, you'd still be leaps and bounds above most volunteers.
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@godder said in Happiness Scale:
@jc said in Happiness Scale:
@nta said in Happiness Scale:
@jc said in Happiness Scale:
I think some of us just need to accept that for us it's not a bad thing that thereās no realistic chance of ever stopping work. We just need to find something different to do with our time, and as long as we are doing it because we like it rather than through necessity thatās OK.
Go run a rugby club
Driving around the Port Stephens area of NSW I saw rugby clubs everywhere, and remarked to Mrs TA that I was set like a jelly if we ever wanted to move here
The problem with that plan is that everything I know about rugby I learned on the Fern. So pretty clueless really.
From my experience of club administration, you'd still be leaps and bounds above most volunteers.
If you can get the club set up with a Gmail account and put everything in Google Drive, you're ahead of most.
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@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
@jc do what im doing and just use it to get your foot in the door and then start learning, the even asked me to manage the 1's this year!
You're talking about the fern right? Can't believe you've been asked to mod already.
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@bones said in Happiness Scale:
@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
@jc do what im doing and just use it to get your foot in the door and then start learning, the even asked me to manage the 1's this year!
You're talking about the fern right? Can't believe you've been asked to mod already.
Iām still waiting. Maybe theyāve sent the invite to an old email address.
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@mn5 said in Happiness Scale:
@bones said in Happiness Scale:
@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
@jc do what im doing and just use it to get your foot in the door and then start learning, the even asked me to manage the 1's this year!
You're talking about the fern right? Can't believe you've been asked to mod already.
Iām still waiting. Maybe theyāve sent the invite to an old email address.
Yeah have you check insidechrisgayle@fanboi.com?
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@bones said in Happiness Scale:
@mn5 said in Happiness Scale:
@bones said in Happiness Scale:
@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
@jc do what im doing and just use it to get your foot in the door and then start learning, the even asked me to manage the 1's this year!
You're talking about the fern right? Can't believe you've been asked to mod already.
Iām still waiting. Maybe theyāve sent the invite to an old email address.
Yeah have you check insidechrisgayle@fanboi.com?
.co.nz bro. Nothing. Fuck, maybe they think Iām not up to it ?
Happiness Scale
