Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz
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Took Tims advice and chucked on some Pointer sisters, didn't realise it had blown out to 9 pages, favourite post so far
"Silver wrote:
eye contact is key.
One approach recommended is to look at the left eye, then down to the lips and then to the right eye then to the left eye and so on."
"have you actually tried this, with your eyes going round in circles? or do you move your whole head round in circles?"
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Got to this post and stepped things up a bit with the other Pointer sisters hit Fire, the undertones of rapeyness seemed approriate
he Alpha Males guide to mating with the weaker sex.
I traveled down from Gloucester to London recently. I chose the train, real men travel on the train. Even though I would have to share the train with girly men with their soft hands, I wasn't discouraged. Although I was a little upset because one of the reasons I chose the train was in the movies it would pump prodigious amounts of smoke into the atmosphere (not that I believe in the atmosphere, it's a construct of fake science) and smoke is a very manly thing. There was very little smoke though, not nearly enough.
Putin loves smoke, I've heard he uses a coal fire for his sauna, and he is possibly the most male thing on the planet. I love Putin, he is so Alpha. By Putin I mean the Emperor of Russia and leader of the male world, I don't mean that cheesey potato thing from Canada. Which sucks by the way, Canada is an awful country, populated almost exclusively by women, and women suck, they're so beta, essentially women are just pussies waiting to be grabbed.
Anyway, back to the train. I had been reading a brilliant article on a new superb news site i've found http://www.moneyjesusnews.com (It's brilliant, did you know that without carbon they would never have been able to freeze Han Solo, how much would that have sucked? There would be no chained Leia with her tits out scene, I love tits, I just grab them and make a parping sound, it's a very alpha thing. Just reach out and grab tits and parp.)
So, we've established I was on a train to London, when this woman caught my eye. I could tell she totally wanted me. I think it was my maleness, I reek of man. People have literally told me I smell powerful. They've actually said to me. You smell very powerful.
A rugged looking Canadian was sat next her , he was built pretty well but he was a beta and I could tell he was destroying his chances. He didn't smell powerful, I couldn't smell him at all. He was trying to talk to her but I could tell she wasn't interested because she kept licking her lips, smiling and laughing. Everyone knows bearing your teeth is a sign of disrespect to an alpha, besides alpha males are not funny, which is why laughter was the sign of his utter failure.
I needed to dominate this woman, so I set about employing a technique that I learned from watching dogs. Not the one where you run over and sniff her ass, or piss in a circle around her...although that is very alpha, it was a strategy that had mixed results. I don't really know why, but who the actually understands what the weaker sex thinks anyway, even postulating about it would make me a beta. So I didn't think. Thinking is not very alpha, doing is alpha.
When I turn the alpha up to 10, I just stop thinking and start doing. I doesn't really matter what you do, just as long as you do it. I find picking on someone weaker than you is a great way to establish your alpha superiority, so I generally look for the weakest person around and dominate them. It means I get to dominate them really fast and make a good impression.
I went straight for a move I call the "titillator".
So I stared at her tits for about 20 minutes and I was winning. The trick to winning a staring contest is to just focus on her tits, she is bound to look away at some point and then you have her.
I know the titillator works on the weaker sex because in my experience they all have very weak sex with me.
As soon as she looks away, it means she is ready. Now's the time when you really have to pull your moves. You only have a short window to open the chloroform bottle and drag her to the toilets. Normally she struggles a bit, but that's just what we alpha's call the "locker room tango". Then she goes limp. If she can't actually say no, it means yes.
It was at this point I realised I couldn't employ step 2 because all the betas on the train would work together to stop you from dominating. Miserable fail, but for the sake of this instruction manual I will continue like the betas were not there.
You could also walk over and stick your index finger in her mouth. It is a very old mating gesture that symbolises that you are ready for her to receive your seed.
Women are totally hot for it, but I found that it's best to perform this mating ritual after the chloroform otherwise it get's them so excited they have what I call sex seizures. It could also be a result of their vaccinations, vaccinations have terrible side effects (you can get more information on http://www.sciencecausesautism.com)
The act of sex is pretty fast, most alphas can complete a sex act from start to finish in under 4 seconds. Betas take a lot longer, alphas are winners. In my case I average around the 3 second mark. Once I've blown my load I tend to make a duck. I've no interest in sitting around and waiting for her to wake up, they tend to spend a long time sobbing and wailing, and there's only so much adoration I can take.
I mean heck, an alpha knows how awesome he is, he doesn't need any reassurance.
So there you go betas, now you know the secret of sexing women, I'll see you on the tracks losers.
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@jegga said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
Took Tims advice and chucked on some Pointer sisters, didn't realise it had blown out to 9 pages, favourite post so far
"Silver wrote:
eye contact is key.
One approach recommended is to look at the left eye, then down to the lips and then to the right eye then to the left eye and so on."
"have you actually tried this, with your eyes going round in circles? or do you move your whole head round in circles?"
Beginners stuff. I look 'em in the eye and blink in morse code. The subliminal messages bypass their conscious mind and give me complete control.
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@Tim said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
That dull "globus" fuckface should be banned.
Is that possibly the notorious Mister G?
Hilarious stuff btw. Cheers for posting that Jegga. I needed a good laugh.
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By golly what a cracker of a day on Stuff.co.nz....
first off, lady, have you never heard of tinder ? saves all sorts of embarrassment....
secondly, bitch, I have young kids, if I was sent this invoice I don't think there would be enough dicks in the world that I'd advise you to eat....
lastly, JJ, no matter how much you try you'll never be the ghastly, attention seeking Minga that Polly Gillespie is.....
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@MN5 if you buy your kids a $562 pair of shoes, you can afford it when they grow out of them in 3 months, or, they wreck them, or leave them on the playground, or some other kid wrecks them or likes them more....fuck off lady.
I'd send her a bill for the mental anguish of her kid being at my house.
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@MN5 wow.
First, you will never convince me that the first one isn't a bloke.
Agreed on the 2nd, the invoice would have been used to wipe my ass, and then returned to sender.
JJ is, and has always been, a fucking hideous looking thing who also happens to be fucking annoying. I don't know who Dom Harvey is, but i assume he is addicted to hallucinogenics
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@mariner4life said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@MN5 wow.
First, you will never convince me that the first one isn't a bloke.
Agreed on the 2nd, the invoice would have been used to wipe my ass, and then returned to sender.
JJ is, and has always been, a fucking hideous looking thing who also happens to be fucking annoying. I don't know who Dom Harvey is, but i assume he is addicted to hallucinogenics
As I allude to though JJ has nothing on Polly Gillespie. She really needs to up her game.
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@MN5 said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@mariner4life said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@MN5 wow.
First, you will never convince me that the first one isn't a bloke.
Agreed on the 2nd, the invoice would have been used to wipe my ass, and then returned to sender.
JJ is, and has always been, a fucking hideous looking thing who also happens to be fucking annoying. I don't know who Dom Harvey is, but i assume he is addicted to hallucinogenics
As I allude to though JJ has nothing on Polly Gillespie. She really needs to up her game.
MN5 she gave Polly a good run for her money last year, a mental breakdown on air and an absence from her appalling show for a few weeks with accompanying stories on stuff and the Herald ......coincidentally at the same time she put out a book. Thats some top notch attention whoring/shilling right there.
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@jegga Ok, I'm only up to page 2 so far. The fact that Winger or "Silver" is a giant fucking creep mobile full of bullshit tips is no surprise. I'm liking the level of mockery from other posters.
But I have to agree with the poster Zakar, because it's a point that often comes up when writing romance - what is the alpha male. IMO it is a leader, someone with courage, strength, someone who gets shit done, even when faced with giant clusterfuck situations. Not an obnoxious fuckface who yells or looms over or stares to intimidate. A real alpha just is alpha. It doesn't ever need to be reiterated or signposted.
If you need to keep yelling hey everyone, I AM ALPHA...you definitely aren't.
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@jegga said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@MN5 said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@mariner4life said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@MN5 wow.
First, you will never convince me that the first one isn't a bloke.
Agreed on the 2nd, the invoice would have been used to wipe my ass, and then returned to sender.
JJ is, and has always been, a fucking hideous looking thing who also happens to be fucking annoying. I don't know who Dom Harvey is, but i assume he is addicted to hallucinogenics
As I allude to though JJ has nothing on Polly Gillespie. She really needs to up her game.
MN5 she gave Polly a good run for her money last year, a mental breakdown on air and an absence from her appalling show for a few weeks with accompanying stories on stuff and the Herald ......coincidentally at the same time she put out a book. Thats some top notch attention whoring/shilling right there.
Don't be cynical jegga. I'm sure it's a complete coincidence.
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@MN5 said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@jegga said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@MN5 said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@mariner4life said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@MN5 wow.
First, you will never convince me that the first one isn't a bloke.
Agreed on the 2nd, the invoice would have been used to wipe my ass, and then returned to sender.
JJ is, and has always been, a fucking hideous looking thing who also happens to be fucking annoying. I don't know who Dom Harvey is, but i assume he is addicted to hallucinogenics
As I allude to though JJ has nothing on Polly Gillespie. She really needs to up her game.
MN5 she gave Polly a good run for her money last year, a mental breakdown on air and an absence from her appalling show for a few weeks with accompanying stories on stuff and the Herald ......coincidentally at the same time she put out a book. Thats some top notch attention whoring/shilling right there.
Don't be cynical jegga. I'm sure it's a complete coincidence.
Yeah , nah.
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@Mokey said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@jegga Ok, I'm only up to page 2 so far. The fact that Winger or "Silver" is a giant fucking creep mobile full of bullshit tips is no surprise. I'm liking the level of mockery from other posters.
But I have to agree with the poster Zakar, because it's a point that often comes up when writing romance - what is the alpha male. IMO it is a leader, someone with courage, strength, someone who gets shit done, even when faced with giant clusterfuck situations. Not an obnoxious fuckface who yells or looms over or stares to intimidate. A real alpha just is alpha. It doesn't ever need to be reiterated or signposted.
If you need to keep yelling hey everyone, I AM ALPHA...you definitely aren't.
Have you got to the part where he says "dont put women on a pedestal they are just meat like you"?
I feel a bit vindicated about my theories of his Trump and Putin worship now.
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@mariner4life said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@MN5 wow.
First, you will never convince me that the first one isn't a bloke.
Agreed on the 2nd, the invoice would have been used to wipe my ass, and then returned to sender.
JJ is, and has always been, a fucking hideous looking thing who also happens to be fucking annoying. I don't know who Dom Harvey is, but i assume he is addicted to hallucinogenics
Zhe's gender fluid and would you?
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@jegga now? no. In the past? Almost certainly
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@jegga said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@Mokey when you have a moment could you critique this for us ?
um....
Not little boy who is talking to Mum or a sexual, desirable goddess who is good enough to spend a few minutes with a lowly pleb.
Surely some of those words dont belong in the same sentence?
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@mariner4life said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@jegga now? no. In the past? Almost certainly
In a certain light and alcohol intake she could pass for Rachel Griffiths
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@jegga in a certain light and alcohol intake she could pass for Monica Belucci. At least, that's what I'll tell myself.
