The only Super Rugby Final summary that matters
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I haven't watched the game, just read the thread. Here's my thoughts.
The Auckland Blues finally remembered how to win a title, demolishing the Chiefs 41-10 in the 2024 Super Rugby Pacific final at a rain-soaked Eden Park. It only took them 21 years to figure it out, but who's counting?
In a display that had Chiefs fans checking if they'd accidentally tuned into a Blues highlight reel, the home team dominated from whistle to whistle. The Blues forwards, apparently fueled by two decades of frustration, steamrolled their way through the Chiefs' defense like it was made of wet paper.
Caleb Clarke, proving that falling over is actually a viable scoring technique, somehow managed to score a hat-trick of tries. His third came courtesy of a rare moment of clarity from Finlay Christie, who shocked everyone (including himself) with a pinpoint cutout pass.
Patrick Tuipulotu, held together by what one can only assume was duct tape and sheer willpower, led his team with the kind of inspirational performance usually reserved for Hollywood sports movies. Akira Ioane, in his swan song before jetting off to Japan, decided to show everyone what they'll be missing - about 21 years too late for most Blues fans' liking.
The Chiefs, for their part, seemed to have left their game plan back in Hamilton. Damian McKenzie ran around a lot, which was nice, but about as effective as bringing a spoon to a gunfight. The Chiefs' lone try, scored by Anton Lienert-Brown in the 65th minute, felt more like a participation award than a genuine threat to the Blues' dominance.
Harry Plummer, apparently channeling the ghost of Don Clarke, was perfect off the tee, slotting four conversions and a penalty. The Blues' other tries came from Hoskins Sotutu and Rieko Ioane, who both decided that this final was as good a time as any to peak.
The Blues' tactical kicking was so on point it made you wonder if they'd been secretly practicing while pretending to be terrible for the last two decades. Christie's box kicks pinned the Chiefs back, while the Chiefs' kicking game was about as effective as a chocolate teapot.
Vern Cotter, the Blues' coach, was praised for transforming the team's playing style. Apparently, all it took was reminding them that rugby is, in fact, a contact sport.
The final whistle blew with the scoreboard reading 41-10, a score that flattered the Chiefs if we're being honest. As Blues fans celebrated, neutrals were left wondering if this was the beginning of a new era or just a very convincing collective hallucination.
In the end, the Blues' victory not only secured them the Super Rugby Pacific title but also left All Blacks selectors with the unenviable task of figuring out how many Blues players they can pick without being accused of bias. The Chiefs, meanwhile, were left to ponder the age-old question: is there a mercy rule in rugby?
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@Machpants said in The only Super Rugby Final summary that matters:
Got the facts wrong though, with Plummers kicking.
We can fix that. It's easy to extract a key moments json of the matches from various websites. Then it'll have the scores and times correct
That will give the structure to add the forum comments around
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@Chris-B said in The only Super Rugby Final summary that matters:
This is how humanity will eventually defeat AI.
Each Fern thread that is read will make it marginally more stupid than before - and the relentlessness of the human posters will eventually reduce its intelligence to zero!
It's like the War of the Worlds!
I was thinking Terminator.
Try and trick it by saying Stephen Perofeta is better than Christian Cullen. If it agrees you’ll realise it’s a T800 infiltration unit trying to blend in and destroy the resistance
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@Machpants said in The only Super Rugby Final summary that matters:
It is actually amusing, even if a series of one liners rather than decent paragraph construction. Got the facts wrong though, with Plummers kicking.
Some of the jokes are actually good. This is the first pass at it, we'll get the writing/detail better.
Even I laughed at the Christie line.
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@Kirwan said in The only Super Rugby Final summary that matters:
@Machpants said in The only Super Rugby Final summary that matters:
It is actually amusing, even if a series of one liners rather than decent paragraph construction. Got the facts wrong though, with Plummers kicking.
Some of the jokes are actually good. This is the first pass at it, we'll get the writing/detail better.
Even I laughed at the Christie line.
What/Whose AI technology is it using?
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Here's the review of the 2022 AB v England game.
What began as a black-and-white affair at Twickenham quickly devolved into fifty shades of chaos as the All Blacks and England served up a rugby feast that left both sets of fans questioning their life choices.
The men in black burst out of the gates like they had a plane to catch, with Dalton Papali'i and Codie Taylor crossing the whitewash faster than you can say "Foster's job security." At 14-0 inside ten minutes, it looked like the All Blacks might rack up a cricket score. England, meanwhile, appeared to be playing a different sport entirely - possibly croquet.
But then, as if remembering they were actually quite good at this rugby lark, England stirred from their slumber. Owen Farrell and Marcus Smith took turns playing "pin the penalty on the scoreboard," and suddenly we had ourselves a contest.
The see-saw battle continued after the break, with Rieko Ioane deciding to remind everyone why he's not just a pretty face with a try that had more steps than a Manhattan apartment building. At 22-6, you could practically hear the champagne corks popping in the All Blacks' coaches' box.
But then, oh then, dear readers, came the collapse to end all collapses. It was as if the entire All Blacks squad had simultaneously remembered they'd left the oven on back in Auckland. Beauden Barrett earned himself a yellow card, presumably for being too handsome, and England pounced.
What followed was a try-scoring blitz that would have made Usain Bolt look pedestrian. Will Stuart, a prop mind you, decided he was actually a wings-three-quarter and helped himself to a brace. Freddie Steward joined the party, and suddenly 25-6 had become 25-25 faster than you can say "Ian Foster's resume update."
The final whistle blew with the scores level, leaving fans on both sides wondering if they'd just witnessed a classic or a crime against rugby. The All Blacks had snatched a draw from the jaws of victory, while England had somehow avoided defeat despite spending 70 minutes playing like they'd just been introduced to the concept of rugby that morning.
In the end, it was a result that left everyone feeling a bit empty, like a low-calorie beer or a politician's promise. The All Blacks will be asking themselves how they managed to blow such a commanding lead, while England will be wondering where that fighting spirit was for the first three-quarters of the match.
One thing's for certain: if this is the standard we can expect heading into the World Cup, we might all be better off taking up crown green bowls instead. But who are we kidding? We'll all be back for more, gluttons for punishment that we are. After all, there's nothing quite like the beautiful, frustrating, exhilarating chaos of international rugby.
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Chat GPT is amazing. So powerful, it even got me out of jury service 👍. Here is a 100 word match report in the style of NZ poet Sam Hunt
In the 2024 Super Rugby light,
Blues and Chiefs met on a winter’s night,
With sky a shade of hopeful blue,
And the field, a battleground, new.Blues struck first, swift and keen,
Their moves a rhythm, almost serene.
Chiefs, undeterred, answered back,
Their force a counter, a fierce attack.The game flowed, a dance of might,
Under the southern stars, so bright.
Blues held firm, their line unbent,
In every play, their spirit spent.Minutes waned, the tension grew,
Fans' hearts beat fast, they always knew,
Blues would rise, with final flair,
To claim the night, their triumph rare.Whistle's call, a victory sweet,
Blues, the champions, none could beat.
Their glory sung in chants and cheer,
A rugby tale, forever dear.In Auckland’s streets, the echoes ring,
Of heroes crowned, and hope in spring.
A match, a fight, a tale to tell,
Where Blues prevailed, and all was well. -
@canefan said in The only Super Rugby Final summary that matters:
Chat GPT is amazing. So powerful, it even got me out of jury service 👍. Here is a 100 word match report in the style of NZ poet Sam Hunt
In the 2024 Super Rugby light,
Blues and Chiefs met on a winter’s night,
With sky a shade of hopeful blue,
And the field, a battleground, new.Blues struck first, swift and keen,
Their moves a rhythm, almost serene.
Chiefs, undeterred, answered back,
Their force a counter, a fierce attack.The game flowed, a dance of might,
Under the southern stars, so bright.
Blues held firm, their line unbent,
In every play, their spirit spent.Minutes waned, the tension grew,
Fans' hearts beat fast, they always knew,
Blues would rise, with final flair,
To claim the night, their triumph rare.Whistle's call, a victory sweet,
Blues, the champions, none could beat.
Their glory sung in chants and cheer,
A rugby tale, forever dear.In Auckland’s streets, the echoes ring,
Of heroes crowned, and hope in spring.
A match, a fight, a tale to tell,
Where Blues prevailed, and all was well.I never knew chat GPT was a raving alcoholic
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@MN5 said in The only Super Rugby Final summary that matters:
Try and trick it by saying Stephen Perofeta is better than Christian Cullen.
But this, currently, is likely to be correct.
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@MN5 said in The only Super Rugby Final summary that matters:
I never knew chat GPT was a raving alcoholic
Booze in booze out as they say in hazy computing circles.
