RIP Sean Wainui
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Having experienced more than enough suicides in my life I really do feel for the family. Those in grief can't help but feel guilty and you always wonder if you could have done something earlier to prevent it.
Mental health is a disease that is only really starting to get the recognition it deserves, and one could argue a lack of media in the past is one of the reasons we have been so slow to act.
I did 10 years in the Cops and never once spoke to a mental health professional, even after my boss hung himself and I was on duty when it happened. I was always surprised I had to be tested each year to carry a firearm yet no checks were done on my mental health to use the thing.
All I can hope are cases like this are used in a way to encourage those with the illness to reach out for help.
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Does anyone else find it just a tiny bit strange that there wasnt the slightest hint from anyone close to Sean during the outpouring of grief - that we all felt to various degrees - that this wasn't an accident, despite how odd the circumstances from the very first moment? Not that anyone - let alone the whanau of course - wants to leap out and suggest it, but it's just such an odd thing, albeit in a terribly sad situation, that a week passed with all involved allowing everyone to believe it was a tragic accident? Could it be that this took absolutely everyone by surprise? Or just ensuring it was timed, quite respectfully, for after the tangi (or start of it)? Or quite simply, none of our business?
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This is as good a place as any... and I hope anyone who feels the loss of a victim of suicide, including Sean Wainui, indulges me here.
Luckily I've not suffered close loss through suicide. Known a few who have though.
I have got close to losing loved ones though (not me ... thankfully I think I'll be the last person ever to contemplate taking my own life, but people really close to me have tried, thankfully unsuccessfully).
Last Wednesday was apparently World Mental Health Day.
It seems a couple of days too late for Sean.
I've shared this elsewhere, but anyway, my employer had a webinar for said day on Wednesday morning.
International company, American based CEO, so 8am webinar.
Was focussed around suicide prevention on the back of a you tube video called "Wake Up".
Of course I've had zero time to watch said video but plugged into webinar anyway. Need to make time to watch same ... will get there.
What struck me was the balance of the contributors.
Adding up the presenters and the post presentation contributors, out of hundreds, maybe thousands, of participants and at least 30 maybe 50 people who shared their story, how many were blokes?
One.
One guy.
What's the stats on who takes their own life again?
Dunno where I'm going with this but maybe we all need to ask RUOK?
As I say, I reckon I'm the least likely to cause myself any damage, but something like this makes one realise how insidious mental health problems are. How much we hold it in.
TSF is our own little community. We really don't know each other, but we do.
So ask for help and the rest of us will see what we can do.
Anyway, am off to bed. Do we need a wicket yet?
