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Not sure I should really contribute but ...
... been to Tassie the once.
Christmas two years ago. (I recall hearing news stories of some illness in China emerging ... pfft ... who cares... )
Wasn't a great fan of Hobart. It just felt cold. Like I wouldn't go swimming in the ocean. Kinda like Southland would feel in the middle of summer.
Got the impression Hobart was Dunedin with traffic issues.
Loved the hinterland around Hobart though.
And the restaurants were as good as anywhere.
Seafood (well fish and chips) a shitload better than QLD. (But scallop pies ... seemed a waste of both scallops and pies ...)
And loved all the sights we saw in the rest of Tassie and am ready to head back and see the rest of the bits we didn't see.
Mrs Boo and I (and by default Ms Boo Jr) took a number of leaps of faith 10-20 odd years ago to places we knew nobody and we got caught by it being right for us.
Reckon it might be a cool adventure.
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Speaking of Matamata and Hobbiton...
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@majorrage said in Happiness Scale:
Contrarian time.
We moved from 9mm city to 100k town.
My wife snd I both agreed that if didnāt have kids weād hate it. We are both early 40ās. Also, Hobart reminds me of Hamilton. If thatās your thing, then youāll love it.
But it has hills and an ocean ??
Itās way more Welly or Dunners at casual glance, not that Iāve been there.
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@MajorRage @booboo as valid contributions as any so thanks
last night = We're not going, after the last 18 months we just dont have the energy for a move and new job and make new friends....
this morning after not sleeping = maybe i talk to them again
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Thanks fellas. It's all ok, sort of. Suicide is an increasing reality now. It may even be the last true freedom one has over their lives.
I've found the coping trick is, if you love the person, to not get angry at them for their choice. That just breeds more resentment and will portray your friend in the wrong light.
There are always so many unanswered questions that never get satisfied. Never blame yourself and think "what else could I have done?". There's nothing else (after the fact) you could do and the suicide is purely between the deceased and his little voice in his head.
No point in anger or hoping you could have seen something.
Of my two friends in 3 months, one talked about his depression and suicidal thoughts and sought medical and counselling help (died 24th dec). The other was completely silent that anything was bothering him. ( died oct 15)
A slight revelation for the 24th guy was that we had a good weekly catch up on the 17th. He was in good form and looking back he had too much of a carefree demeanour. This is likely the change of mood the experienced talk about when the deceased resolved to commit suicide and there's a euphoric reaction that all the hurt is about to be over. All the troubles won't have to be dealt with again, everyday.
Looking back Nick had this planned at least a fortnight ago. That change in mood is worth looking out for if you can. But all this stuff is too difficult to spot so the important thing is not to throw a lot of blame around - it just breeds resentment and ill feeling.
I've found you vacillate between " poor poor bugger must have been really hurting inside to have done this" all the way to: "fucken inconsiderate fluffybunny. What a fucking mess you've left for us. Selfish prick". It's basically a choice between the two but overall and over time, the first one is the true representation of the whole thing.
You'll have countless conversations with those left behind from a suicide and You'll ask a million questions trying to get to the root of it all. Really you're trying to wrap it all up in a tidy bow in a bid to understanding the un-understandable and you never are able to wrap it all up tidily. Never.
So always you're left with the following statement as the only finality: "well, he did what he wanted to do. He chose to fix his problems that way and I can only conclude that it all hurt so much more than I could imagine. Some people just don't want to go on"
I'm off to see his mum today. She has had Xmas forever ruined and my message will be clear - "it's not our fault, and he wanted this. No anger just sorrow and reinforcement that a good bloke just couldn't find a way through"
Sorry for the thread hijack, hope my experiences help you in the future. The posts of condolences come from good people. Thank you.
Prepare for more suicides, we've (well some people have) created a very toxic and hope devoid society right now.
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@siam thatās a really thought provoking post. Youāve clearly spent a lot of time thinking about this snd drawn some deep conclusions.
Not wanting to challenge, but a question if you donāt mind ā¦. We often talk about people dying with Covid or of Covid. This situation here, was it all the Covid stuff, or was he mentally not well and anything could have triggered it?
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@majorrage said in Happiness Scale:
@siam thatās a really thought provoking post. Youāve clearly spent a lot of time thinking about this snd drawn some deep conclusions.
Not wanting to challenge, but a question if you donāt mind ā¦. We often talk about people dying with Covid or of Covid. This situation here, was it all the Covid stuff, or was he mentally not well and anything could have triggered it?
It just can't be discounted as a relevant variable. Nick was anti vax. He didn't trust the safety mantras and he was as fit and healthy and strong a 50 year old as we'll ever meet. Overwhelmingly, statistically, he would have sailed through covid.
He'd talked about and suffered from depression for decades and finally did suicide during covid. We talked endlessly about covid and the bleak future the world faces. The illogical and inconsistent legislations. He just wanted to be left alone on his self sufficient farm. He didn't want the vaccine and was depressed about his newly given status in society.
We also talked a lot about his depression before covid came about.
There is no doubt that the lack of covid transparency and the free floating anxiety that everyone feels was one of many straws that broke the camel's back.
If the slight presence of viral DNA is a legitimate cause of death to an 85 year old with, dementia, renal and heart failure, then the society wide response to covid is also a cause of death for Nick.
Also add that access to his hospital and counsellor and ketamine treatment has been stopped and suddenly the society reaction to covid is an obvious variable
Chalk up another who died in the presence covid, or because of covid. Certainly a covid related death.
Thanks for asking, rage. It could have been other triggers, sure. I'll never know but I do know he was very anxious about the turn the world has taken over 2 years. He would have survived covid, but I think the authorities reaction to covid had a big role in his death
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Oh yeah, and don't think I haven't noticed that my friends are killing themselvesš.
Surely it's not me....š
Always remember, humour and comedy are vital ingredients in the mourning process. It distracts your mind from utter grief for a moment at least and resets emotions and perspectives šš
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@siam said in Happiness Scale:
A slight revelation for the 24th guy was that we had a good weekly catch on the 17th. He was in good form and looking back he had too much of a carefree demeanour. This is likely the change of mood the experienced talk about when the deceased resolved to commit suicide and there's a euphoric reaction that all the hurt is about to be over. All the troubles won't have to be dealt with again, everyday.
I have often heard this in the way too many suicides I have responded to. Those that know the deceased saying he/she seemed so happy all of a sudden. Like they have made a decision and a great weight has been lifted off their shoulders.
Interestingly I was talking to a colleague following a suicide the other day. He is well read on the topic of euthanasia. I haven't read it for myself, but he said in euthanasia programmes where the subjects are given a pill to take when they feel time is right for them to go, subjects are reporting an improvement in the way they feel. Some don't end up taking the pill.
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Mate , no words for your troubles.
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@catogrande said in Happiness Scale:
Mate , no words for your troubles.
Thanks mate, I know exactly what you're trying to convey.
But we must be careful not to mythologise death, in all it's forms. We must treat this imposter just the same as all parts of life - triumph and disaster.
We must stand tall and verbalise it.
Swallow the hurt and confront it with an unturned head.
Throw the words around with no fear, that's the route to clarity and improvement.
Words are essential in everything. Hell, words are the only known antidote to suicidal feelings.But thanks Cato, it is shitty, and like all shitty deaths we must turn our attention to those left behind and harbour only good will and understanding to the deceased.
Life is a challenge filled with shitty things and is to be met courageously with head held high - especially when that's the hardest thing to doš
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Two days riding in Victoria's high country covering 1000km with mates is a good way to close out the year.
Here's to some sanity in 2022. š¾š»
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@antipodean said in Happiness Scale:
Two days riding in Victoria's high country covering 1000km with mates is a good way to close out the year.
Sounds like heaven.
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Off to Turkey 03-13 January
Skiing
First assignment for Fall Line ski magazine here in the UK
Jonny Richards (no relation) writing the words, me taking the pics.
Very excited
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@majorrage said in Happiness Scale:
I was todays years old when I learned you could go ski-ing in Turkey.
Let us know what it's like. Not been to Turkey before and would love to go there to do something different.
Will do
Got the title of the feature already
Turkey, Itās Not Just For Christmas
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Having travelled at least a few times a year at least, biggest happiness impact has been the Covid on international travel. I have family in NZ, inlaws in Hong Kong and love the beaches in Asia. Sigh.
We've managed to get away to Greece (2020) and Portugal (2021 with lots of testing costs) which is keeps me sane but still ...
- Hong Kong, forget it - 3 week hotel quarantine still. Crazy
- NZ - waiting for it to open up, sometime soon
- Asia ... still Covid paranoid. Thailand is pretty closed bar Phuket "sandbox". Philippines (Bohol, Boracay etc) is closed for non-residents.
Some things you just take for granted until you can't access them. I'm vaxxed, boosted but at some point the world has to deal with Covid being a reality that's not going away
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@l_n_p Yup. Oversaes travel keeps me sane and these years we are missing were the ones I was planning to do the harder travel before I enter my dotage.
If I could I would be off tomorrow irrespective of any bloody virus. It's now coming up to three years stuck in NZ and even in 2019 only had a week in the Cooks which would not have been my choice but was a family thing
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