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@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
ok, as with a few times ive posted in here....im not sure this is the best place but why not, it will at least touch on several topics
Mrs Womble has a job opportunity in Hobart, Crown Solicitor so a big deal, but we're really struggling to make a call, is hobart too small and family orientated (we dont have kids), we like Melbourne a lot, i can move with my job so thats no issue
it just the stress of moving again, and we would normally go for a long weekend to get a feel for the place but we cant because of covid
She is not leaning towards not taking it because i have things like my rugby club and she saw how much i enjoyed it this year and i am leaning towards going because its amazing opportunity for her
If it's just a temporary thing then go for it. She'll never die wondering about what it would have done for her career and you get an interesting new chapter in your life. With no kids, even better. Just make sure there is a plan for return after a specific time. Nothing worse than being stuck living in a place you don't like with no foreseeable means of escape.
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
ok, as with a few times ive posted in here....im not sure this is the best place but why not, it will at least touch on several topics
Mrs Womble has a job opportunity in Hobart, Crown Solicitor so a big deal, but we're really struggling to make a call, is hobart too small and family orientated (we dont have kids), we like Melbourne a lot, i can move with my job so thats no issue
it just the stress of moving again, and we would normally go for a long weekend to get a feel for the place but we cant because of covid
She is not leaning towards not taking it because i have things like my rugby club and she saw how much i enjoyed it this year and i am leaning towards going because its amazing opportunity for her
If it's just a temporary thing then go for it. She'll never die wondering about what it would have done for her career and you get an interesting new chapter in your life. With no kids, even better. Just make sure there is a plan for return after a specific time. Nothing worse than being stuck living in a place you don't like with no foreseeable means of escape.
Thats definitely the angle we're taken, keep our place in melbourne rent it out and that should cover renting somewhere over there, only commit to a year or two (need to give it a good go) and then re think
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@kiwiwomble sounds like your mind is made up KW, Tassie it is!
All the best with the new adventure - if you make it there by Easter, let me know and we can grab a beer!
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@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
ok, as with a few times ive posted in here....im not sure this is the best place but why not, it will at least touch on several topics
Mrs Womble has a job opportunity in Hobart, Crown Solicitor so a big deal, but we're really struggling to make a call, is hobart too small and family orientated (we dont have kids), we like Melbourne a lot, i can move with my job so thats no issue
it just the stress of moving again, and we would normally go for a long weekend to get a feel for the place but we cant because of covid
She is not leaning towards not taking it because i have things like my rugby club and she saw how much i enjoyed it this year and i am leaning towards going because its amazing opportunity for her
If it's just a temporary thing then go for it. She'll never die wondering about what it would have done for her career and you get an interesting new chapter in your life. With no kids, even better. Just make sure there is a plan for return after a specific time. Nothing worse than being stuck living in a place you don't like with no foreseeable means of escape.
Thats definitely the angle we're taken, keep our place in melbourne rent it out and that should cover renting somewhere over there, only commit to a year or two (need to give it a good go) and then re think
You can happily tell your wife you have the fern nod of approval to move.
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@hooroo said in Happiness Scale:
@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
ok, as with a few times ive posted in here....im not sure this is the best place but why not, it will at least touch on several topics
Mrs Womble has a job opportunity in Hobart, Crown Solicitor so a big deal, but we're really struggling to make a call, is hobart too small and family orientated (we dont have kids), we like Melbourne a lot, i can move with my job so thats no issue
it just the stress of moving again, and we would normally go for a long weekend to get a feel for the place but we cant because of covid
She is not leaning towards not taking it because i have things like my rugby club and she saw how much i enjoyed it this year and i am leaning towards going because its amazing opportunity for her
If it's just a temporary thing then go for it. She'll never die wondering about what it would have done for her career and you get an interesting new chapter in your life. With no kids, even better. Just make sure there is a plan for return after a specific time. Nothing worse than being stuck living in a place you don't like with no foreseeable means of escape.
Thats definitely the angle we're taken, keep our place in melbourne rent it out and that should cover renting somewhere over there, only commit to a year or two (need to give it a good go) and then re think
You can happily tell your wife you have the fern nod of approval to move.
"The guys who I talk about Lego and Batman with on the internet think it's the way to go"
What could possibly go wrong?
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@kiwiwomble said in Happiness Scale:
@hooroo that might well and truly kill the deal!
"They're hawt and they're Polish!!"
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@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
I always wanted to live rural, but realised after a few years in the city that actually the things I enjoyed were linked to big city life - access to lifestyle, people, events, etc. You can do it all rural - but you have to be really determined and make an effort.
I'm coming under some pressure to move to one of the smaller cities. Pointing out Akl is already small doesn't seem to help.
I want to move into the CBD so there's not a lot of common ground.
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@dogmeat said in Happiness Scale:
@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
I always wanted to live rural, but realised after a few years in the city that actually the things I enjoyed were linked to big city life - access to lifestyle, people, events, etc. You can do it all rural - but you have to be really determined and make an effort.
I'm coming under some pressure to move to one of the smaller cities. Pointing out Akl is already small doesn't seem to help.
I want to move into the CBD so there's not a lot of common ground.
Matamata is just lovely mate, so long as you don't mind really average restaurants.... although one of the bakeries just won the Bakels Mince and Cheese pie award. There was no parade...
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FWIW I have family in Hobart and have spent quite a bit of time there. I really enjoy my time there and love the city (if you can call it a city). It's beautiful, great food, easy to access awesome wilderness areas.
It all depends on lifestyle I suppose. My family live on a few acres on the outskirts of town, and it takes about 20 minutes to get to the heart of the city.
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Have done a whistle stop tour of Tasmania and have to say I thought Hobart was great. The weather at that latitude can be a bit shit but you've been living in Melbourne, so.... Yes it is a smaller city, but you've still got half a dozen rugby clubs in the area and I'm sure they'd be happy to see new faces with only 5 fingers on each hand*
EDIT: What struck me was the preservation of many older buildings in the CBD - in Sydney or Melbourne a lot of stuff has been paved over to start again, but there was a heck of a lot of sandstone to my eye.
Lots of stuff in and around Hobart. Only a couple of hours to Launceston (It is LONsesston, not LAWNsesston, I recently learned) and then there's the whole wild west coast and some nice driving up the east coast as well.
If you get bored, only an hour and a bit to fly back to Melbourne which will make you appreciate it more I reckon. I heard Hobart was going to start doing international flights at some point, so you might even be able to go to NZ direct in the near future.
I like Tassie. But I also like Canberra. And have lived in neither BUT happy wife = happy life and what have you got to lose?
*I was always going there, but TBH wandering around Hobart CBD one fine spring day, we kept getting stares from the locals. I swear they could smell our genetic purity and/or noticed we weren't brother and sister-wife ...
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@hooroo said in Happiness Scale:
Matamata is just lovely mate, so long as you don't mind really average restaurants.... although one of the bakeries just won the Bakels Mince and Cheese pie award. There was no parade...
Nice spot, that. For me it took me back to my rural upbringing where you had the stock & station agents and farm supplies on the main street with the local fashion houses.
Speaking of restaurants: one thing I noticed in Tasmania @Kiwiwomble is the service is reaaaaaaaaally slow. Consistently across the whole state.
You'd think that extra head would speed them up, but no.
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Not sure I should really contribute but ...
... been to Tassie the once.
Christmas two years ago. (I recall hearing news stories of some illness in China emerging ... pfft ... who cares... )
Wasn't a great fan of Hobart. It just felt cold. Like I wouldn't go swimming in the ocean. Kinda like Southland would feel in the middle of summer.
Got the impression Hobart was Dunedin with traffic issues.
Loved the hinterland around Hobart though.
And the restaurants were as good as anywhere.
Seafood (well fish and chips) a shitload better than QLD. (But scallop pies ... seemed a waste of both scallops and pies ...)
And loved all the sights we saw in the rest of Tassie and am ready to head back and see the rest of the bits we didn't see.
Mrs Boo and I (and by default Ms Boo Jr) took a number of leaps of faith 10-20 odd years ago to places we knew nobody and we got caught by it being right for us.
Reckon it might be a cool adventure.
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Speaking of Matamata and Hobbiton...
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@majorrage said in Happiness Scale:
Contrarian time.
We moved from 9mm city to 100k town.
My wife snd I both agreed that if didn’t have kids we’d hate it. We are both early 40’s. Also, Hobart reminds me of Hamilton. If that’s your thing, then you’ll love it.
But it has hills and an ocean ??
It’s way more Welly or Dunners at casual glance, not that I’ve been there.
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@MajorRage @booboo as valid contributions as any so thanks
last night = We're not going, after the last 18 months we just dont have the energy for a move and new job and make new friends....
this morning after not sleeping = maybe i talk to them again
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Thanks fellas. It's all ok, sort of. Suicide is an increasing reality now. It may even be the last true freedom one has over their lives.
I've found the coping trick is, if you love the person, to not get angry at them for their choice. That just breeds more resentment and will portray your friend in the wrong light.
There are always so many unanswered questions that never get satisfied. Never blame yourself and think "what else could I have done?". There's nothing else (after the fact) you could do and the suicide is purely between the deceased and his little voice in his head.
No point in anger or hoping you could have seen something.
Of my two friends in 3 months, one talked about his depression and suicidal thoughts and sought medical and counselling help (died 24th dec). The other was completely silent that anything was bothering him. ( died oct 15)
A slight revelation for the 24th guy was that we had a good weekly catch up on the 17th. He was in good form and looking back he had too much of a carefree demeanour. This is likely the change of mood the experienced talk about when the deceased resolved to commit suicide and there's a euphoric reaction that all the hurt is about to be over. All the troubles won't have to be dealt with again, everyday.
Looking back Nick had this planned at least a fortnight ago. That change in mood is worth looking out for if you can. But all this stuff is too difficult to spot so the important thing is not to throw a lot of blame around - it just breeds resentment and ill feeling.
I've found you vacillate between " poor poor bugger must have been really hurting inside to have done this" all the way to: "fucken inconsiderate fluffybunny. What a fucking mess you've left for us. Selfish prick". It's basically a choice between the two but overall and over time, the first one is the true representation of the whole thing.
You'll have countless conversations with those left behind from a suicide and You'll ask a million questions trying to get to the root of it all. Really you're trying to wrap it all up in a tidy bow in a bid to understanding the un-understandable and you never are able to wrap it all up tidily. Never.
So always you're left with the following statement as the only finality: "well, he did what he wanted to do. He chose to fix his problems that way and I can only conclude that it all hurt so much more than I could imagine. Some people just don't want to go on"
I'm off to see his mum today. She has had Xmas forever ruined and my message will be clear - "it's not our fault, and he wanted this. No anger just sorrow and reinforcement that a good bloke just couldn't find a way through"
Sorry for the thread hijack, hope my experiences help you in the future. The posts of condolences come from good people. Thank you.
Prepare for more suicides, we've (well some people have) created a very toxic and hope devoid society right now.
Happiness Scale