Modern Day Parenting
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Chaz" data-cid="550664" data-time="1451951316">
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<p>We have made a point of saying that the door is always open & that she will always be welcome to come home if she is prepared to follow a couple of simple rules.</p>
<p>I'm picking (hoping) that after a couple of months in the real world, she'll work out that having to follow a few rules really isn't that bad & be back at home with us paying for the course that she wants to do.</p>
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<p>I'm pretty keen to know outcome as well.</p>
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<p>My brother was a bit like that, not quite as extreme by the sounds, but had a huge chip on his shoulder, felt my parents were always down on him, always did more for me, left home at 16/17, they still paid for his course he was doing in Auckland, plus board while at a friends house down there.</p>
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<p>I intervened between my dad and him that was about to get physical one time, which ended in my dad pulling my brother and I apart, we all get on well now though.</p>
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<p>I stayed at home until I was 23, I knew exactly what was good for me! My parents had me young, as it was they were only 41 when I finally left, so I couldn't leave the nest too early!</p> -
It's ok I'm starting a page on 'give a little ' so I can afford important items such as gun racks, guns, bullets, shovel and alibis
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="antipodean" data-cid="550652" data-time="1451949139"><p>
I'm a very permissive parent. I often say not to do something only to get stared at and then the behaviour continues right in front of me. But I console myself with the fact I'm raising a cat.</p></blockquote>
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I hear you man. I am raising two cats. Back in my day cats were much better behaved. Now they have this sense of entitlement. You can't tell them a bloody thing. -
<p>You don't need guns virg - bladed weapons are where its at. Guns for show, knives for a pro. Don't believe me? Check this bloke out:</p>
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<p><img src="https://sonlightpicturesblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/pro01.jpg" alt="pro01.jpg"></p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="MN5" data-cid="550665" data-time="1451951386">
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<p>Good to know the Apple hasn't fallen too far from the tree then....</p>
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<p>This from the bloke who can't even use the quote function...</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Virgil" data-cid="550667" data-time="1451952384">
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<p>Interesting and scary thread to read.</p>
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<p>Im the father of 3 daughters..</p>
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<p>But that's no big deal right? Like NTA you pretty much have a vagina as well. :lol:</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Rancid Schnitzel" data-cid="550688" data-time="1451955313">
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<p>But that's no big deal right? Like NTA you pretty much have a vagina as well. :lol:</p>
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<p>One is my oldest, shes 20 and is currently staying for a few days only.</p>
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<p>I have a 3 and 5 year old, and tbh sometimes it feels like i have 3 nagging wives..</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Virgil" data-cid="550691" data-time="1451955672">
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<p>, and tbh sometimes it feels like i have 3 nagging wives..</p>
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<p>Straight to Facebook with the quote of the year so far.... :)</p> -
<p>That article was very good and as a parent you can see how that shit can happen. I'm tough but fair with my boys (7 and 10) which seems to freak out some of the more "laissez faire" parents who come to visit. Unfortunately my wife (to a lesser extent) and my mother in law (to a farking huge extent) indulge the shit out of them. We don't live in Norway anymore so I understand if the MIL wants to compensate for that, but even when we lived there the boys got a new present every time they visited. They could visit the toy shop and choose whatever they wanted. I could only dream about that! My parents are pretty lean on presents, but they give their time and attention which is much much more important.</p>
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<p>I don't see a problem in giving my kids the things I never had, but it's vital that they respect the hard work needed to pay for them. They can't take these things for granted. When they stop being grateful for these things and believe they're entitled to them, then you're pretty much farked.</p> -
It's not so much an issue caused by being generous with kids, it's because some parents never taught their kids basic manners and appreciation of what they receive. Don't say yes to everything, ensure they have to humble themselves and thank people that give them things, and above all make them understand that unless they are paying, they don't get to choose. <br>
I see parents with kids in supermarkets setting themselves up for exactly the problems in the article by asking their spoiled little brats to choose what brand of whatever they want. Then there are tantrums if there is a disagreement. <br>
If I'm paying, I choose. If I want to treat you I may ask you to select something but make sure they understand that was my choice. <br>
A lot of these problems coms from parents that have both worked in careers for a long time establishing wealth before having kids at a later age. One of them then gives up work and turns their parenting into their job. They have the affluence and drive to be helicopter parents, obsessing and paying way too much attention to their kids without giving them either the room or responsibility to grow into a rounded person. <br>
It's also a symptom of this bullshit no losers at sports stuff. Sports are great for teaching life lessons. Being humble. Realising not everything goes your way. Realising there are assholes out there that you don't need to emulate because they will get their comeuppance eventually. -
<p>when my <strike>brats</strike> kids have been given money for Christmas, Birthday or earnt it, we quickly learnt that they must hand over the money to buy or they think we bought it and they still have money, so none of this I'll pay now and we will take $$$ out of your money box!</p>
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<p>TR Jnr had his iPod stolen form school last year (form a locked cupboard along with a handful of the schools devices) that he had paid for with his own money, he was devastated about it, and said he didn't want to buy another in case he lost that one somehow...harsh life lesson.</p> -
The helicopter parent is a fairly recent thing, but fighting siblings is a cliché for a reason...<br><br>
Competition is a strange thing, and can teach some really good lessons, and also some really awful lessons. Society as a whole does better when everyone cooperates rather than competes, but teaching that is hard work... -
<p>This thread could be very good, for once in a positive way. Parenting is really fucking hard, and sometimes it can feel (even though you know the opposite is true) that you are the only one going through this shit. It's very easy to convince you that other peoples kids are angels, and yours are the terrors. It's never the case, but that is a trap.</p>
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<p>I have two boys, 7 and 4. The eldest is really smart, and has a surprising competitive streak, that can be his downfall. But he's outgoing, in to a lot of things, active, and not too much trouble at all. His downfall is he'll do anything to get a laugh, which is going to make his schooling difficult. He's also completely self-centred, and has no concept of anyone else, and this shows in many different, equally annoying ways. His thing at the moment is his ipad, given his way, he'd be on it 24/7 (watching fucking videos of people playing minecraft, what a fucking weirdo) and gives attitude when he gets told to put it down. Little shit. Needs a clip around his ears.</p>
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<p>The youngest is very different, a victim. Hates to be in trouble (which he is, a lot, because he's always a stubborn little shit who just wants to do what ever he feels like), yells back (which gets him no where) pulls the "you don't love me" card. Im actually a little worried about him, and he has a year to sort it out before he hits school. I've tried all levels of response, from attempted reason, calmness, straight-up ignoring, to the most obvious response of explosive anger. </p>
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<p>It's amazing to me how two boys, bought up the same way, can be so different.</p>
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<p>Mrs Mariner is overly worried about the youngest, as her younger brother is a complete fuck-up, who was a real "victim" at home, moved out, turned to drugs, never made anything of his life, and is now a 36-year old deadbeat, who hasn't had a job in a decade (at least), been to prison a couple of times, is never clean, and can't be a decent father to his beautiful daughter. So Mrs Mariner is terrified our youngest is heading down that path. I'm too much of an optimist to think like that, but how the fuck do you know?</p>
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<p>Parenting is hard as fuck. Balancing your life is hard has fuck. This thread could be really helpful to a bunch of guys in similar situations. </p> -
I've seen bullying mentioned a couple if times on this thread, my boy was bullied and it was heartbreaking to see what if did to him. Worse still the school denied there was a problem and instead said my son had "issues" . We got through it without their help but it must tear some parents up sending their kid every day to a place that makes them miserable.
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="mariner4life" data-cid="550718" data-time="1451963333">
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<p>This thread could be very good, for once in a positive way. Parenting is really fucking hard, and sometimes it can feel (even though you know the opposite is true) that you are the only one going through this shit. It's very easy to convince you that other peoples kids are angels, and yours are the terrors. It's never the case, but that is a trap.</p>
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<p>Yeah for sure...a whole bunch of stuff NTA said about his boy is exactly like mine, and add in some of what you have added about yours, it does make you feel more 'normal even if your kids aint ;)</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Hooroo" data-cid="550719" data-time="1451963760">
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<p>We don't have Kids and this thread helps with that.... :)</p>
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<p>Haha, yep talk to many parents and you'd wonder why they bothered, or it gives you reason not to be a parent ;)</p>
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<p>It aint all bad.... :whistle: :mocking:</p>
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<p>It's interesting how kids can come from exactly the same home environment and have been basically treated the same, but can be totally different. My boys are a classic example of that. They have to be approached and handled in very different ways. My eldest is a smart, big strong boy, but is a farking dreamer which makes him a clumsy moron at times. Its almost like he's in a permanent daydream. I have to be hard with him and continually remind him to get his shit together. My 7 year old is a nutcase, but a ridiculous smart and talented nutcase. Perhaps he has an artistic temperament or something, because he's a brilliant drawer. Despite his talents he's often doubting himself and I realise that he needs to have smoke blown up his arse now and then. In other words, one that doesn't worry enough and one that worries too much.</p>
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<p>As for bullying, we were at a park one day and there was a bunch of kids, and the biggest was pushing my eldest around, made him cry. I told him he had two choices, stand up for himself, or walk away. He ran up and drop kicked the kid in the back and legged it!!</p>
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<p>I was kind of proud of him, i never expected that choice. But that wasn't the outcome i was looking for. And i was really at a loss of what to do next. </p>
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<p>Thankfully the other kids mother came up at that point, and both kids got sorted out (i think we made them shake hands).</p>
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<p>My best mate up here is quite the fighter, and unfortunately/fortunately he has been teaching the youngest to fight. Watching him put his hands up to protect his head, pick his spot, and then throw a punch is equal parts funny and terrifying. I have already warned my mate that he can take the phonecalls from school if this goes bad. The eldest is just lucky he's big, because he's soft as fuck. </p> -
<p>People who don't have kids must wonder wtf people want them in the first place. Get parents of young kids together and you'll pretty much get nothing but bitching and complaining. That video above is basically a rant about how kids fark up your life.</p>
