Ashes 2023
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@MN5 said in Ashes 2023:
@Victor-Meldrew said in Ashes 2023:
Onward...
"This is ground control to Major Pom
You just ducked the high ball with no fear
And the keeper's hands are now on the ball
But it's time to leave the crease if you dare"“Grounded Bat to Major Pom
You’ve left your crease, Careys throwing long
Now you’ve been stumped Major Pom
Now you’ve been stumped Major Pom
Now you’ve been stumped Major Pom………”Honestly, the Barmy Army ain’t got shit on us. We should arrange flights to the UK and chant this at the next test.
Slow morning....
"For here, I am standing in a daydream, far out of my crease.
Can only say "bugger it
I look a complete fuckwit"EDIT: Last bit..
"Grounded Bat to Major Pom
The umpire's ruled: there something wrong
Time to walk off Major Pom....
Time to walk off Major Pom..." -
@barbarian said in Ashes 2023:
OK... what rancid, born-to-rule shit to think that is something you could and would do
Sad thing is Members really aren't "born to rule". The MCC is actually pretty diverse.
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@Victor-Meldrew said in Ashes 2023:
@barbarian said in Ashes 2023:
OK... what rancid, born-to-rule shit to think that is something you could and would do
Sad thing is Members really aren't "born to rule". The MCC is actually pretty diverse.
Isn't it like a 30 year waiting list??
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@Higgins said in Ashes 2023:
@No-Quarter said in Ashes 2023:
It's not even "shithousery", it's just part of the game. The premise that the batsmen wasn't trying to score a run or gain an advantage so it's not OK makes no sense in the context of a stumping. Stumpings come about when the batsmen either leaves his ground to play his shot, or he makes a silly mistake and gives the keeper a chance to stump him. Bairstow made the stupid mistake of wandering out if his ground while the ball was still live. You can't do that, even if you've scraped the pitch with your foot. As I said, this won't happen to Bairstow again, because he won't make the same mistake again.
Let me put it this way - if he had looked around and saw the ball heading for the stumps, do you think he would have still wandered down the pitch? Or stayed put to ensure he doesn't get stumped? And would anyone have complained if the ball hit the stumps but Bairstow was aware enough to stay put? No way, the problem in this scenario is Bairstow wondered off down the pitch while the ball was hurtling towards the stumps, which is an embarrassing thing to do.
If he had stayed in his ground and the ball deflected away for an overthrow you could almost bet your bottom dollar the batsmen would have taken the run.
Reminds me of a certain incident in the 2019 CWC. I don't recall Ben Stokes calling for the play to be reversed that day...
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@MajorRage said in Ashes 2023:
@MiketheSnow beautiful article making superb points.
Right up until he bought a players religion into it which then makes obvious inferences.
There’s a theme running with a few Aussie journos with some sensationalist headlines basically saying Usman was “targeted” and video evidence, but then in said articles don’t have a shred of evidence that it was religious or race based. But inferences abound….
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Various routes, but you can't buy your way in. May have changed but IIRC:
30yr waiting list for the public
Test Players generally get invites if they've played at Lords
You played for the MCC teams which tour schools and coach
You've been on the Lords ground-staff (how my gardener next door neighbour got in)
You're a stalwart of Village or county cricket and a MCC member puts you forward.Had lunch there more than once and it is anything but snobbish. It's def. an old-world culture but you'll find council workers and policeman chatting to MP's, Lords & people like Tim Rice
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@Victor-Meldrew no wonder it's 30 years then!
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@NTA said in Ashes 2023:
@Victor-Meldrew no wonder it's 30 years then!
I was a guest at a lowly county match there some years back and mentioned my cricket-mad BiL (proper ocker from the real backblocks of WA) and how I must take him to Lords as he'd love it. The two members I was with immediately said if he did come to London they'd love to host him and me for the day - just make sure he wore a jacket and tie....
It's an amazing place with a real love of the game - which makes the Long Room antics even worse
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STUMP ODDITY
Cameron Green to Major Pom
Cameron Green to Major Pom
Ground your bat to keep your helmet onCameron Green to Major Pom
He's started walking, thinks the over's done
If you cross the crease line may God's love be with youThis is Cameron Green to Major Tom
You've really made the team?
And the papers want to know what made you take off in a tear
And it's time to appeal the stumping if you dareThis is Major Pom to Cameron Green
I've left before the call
And I'm walking in a most peculiar way
And Carey's thinking it must be his lucky dayFor here am I stranded in no man's land
Far beyond the line
The London air is blue and there's nothing I can doI've seen the stumping flash up on the screen
And I'm feeling very ill
And before too long I know it's time to go
As the umpire makes the right call, and Australia knowsCameron Green to Major Pom
The umpire's finger's in the air you got it wrong
Can you hear me Major Pom?
Can you hear me Major Pom?
Can you hear me Major Pom?
Can youHere am I stranded in no man's land
Far beyond the line
The Long Room air is blue but I'd have done it too -
Very good MIke. All your own work?
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@Victor-Meldrew said in Ashes 2023:
Very good MIke. All your own work?
Cheers
Yep
Except for Major Pom -
@junior said in Ashes 2023:
Lighten up, MajorPom!
You're right, if the shoe were on the other foot, the Aussies would probably also be invoking the "Spirit of Cricket" - and we would all be pointing out what a bunch of hypocrites they are too! For me, that's the whole point - this bullshit concept of the "Spirit of Cricket" is simply whatever suits me in the circumstances when the rules don't. It's the similar to, but far worse than, "rugby values".
Profile updated until the conclusion of the Ashes.
Lets face it, without me, this would just be a circle jerk of the most convicted of cheating sporting team on the planet. The Lance Armstrong of cricket.
Not having a bar of it.
If England can't win the Ashes, at least England are going to walk the Moral Ashes.
(I originally had we instead of England ... but I couldn't do that without doing a bit of this)
(C) @Virgil
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@MajorPom - like the new monicker old chap
With regard to the portrayal of it being the single event that decided the match, it seems it was us Little Englanders at fault not the actual Poms
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@MajorPom said in Ashes 2023:
Lets face it, without me, this would just be a circle jerk of the most convicted of cheating sporting team on the planet. The Lance Armstrong of cricket.
Not having a bar of it.
If England can't win the Ashes, at least England are going to walk the Moral Ashes.
And you called the rest of us predictable
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Shit talker talks shit about other shit talkers talking shit
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@NTA said in Ashes 2023:
Shit talker talks shit about other shit talkers talking shit
He does admit to talking shit in the article though to his credit.
….and he did back it up more often than not.
Bloody good player, on a par with Mark Waugh in terms of aesthetic appeal I reckon.
