Convicts v Marxist Land Thieves - Crucket
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The Betoota Advocate is fucking loving this:
NSW-Favouritism To Blame For Disintegrating Moral Fibre Of Cricket Side, Says QLD Dads
"You get a start playing for New South Wales, you get a start playing for Australia."
NSW-Favouritism To Blame For Disintegrating Moral Fibre Of Cricket Side, Says QLD Dads
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The recent ball-tampering scandal currently rocking Australian Cricket to it’s core is purely a result of the blatant NSW-favouritism shown by selectors, says a ropable Ipswich man.
This follows Australian cricketer Cameron Bancroft was charged with ball tampering, and his captain Steve Smith suspended for one Test after he admitted that he and other senior players, who he refused to name, plotted during a lunch break to illegally tamper with the ball in the third Test against South Africa in Cape Town.
Even Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has weighed in on the disgusting display of poor sportsmanship, however dads around Queensland say it all could have been avoidable if they still had blokes from humble Queensland stock running around out there.
“You reckon Roy or fucking Johnson would have carried on like those little fucking princesses have?” says Wally Lockyer (65).
“You get a start playing for New South Wales, you get a start playing for Australia. That’s how it works and it’s fucking us up”
Cricket greats including Shane Warne, Adam Gilchrist and Michael Clarke have slammed the attempted cheating, which has prompted an investigation from Cricket Australia.
However, Wally says this issue is far more deeply engrained than you’d think. It’s just like the Wallabies and how they treated Ewen and Eddie Jones. These elitist pricks down in the Harbour can’t cop their games being dominated by Queenslanders. Lucky we have Origin so we can rub it in their face every year.
“Clarke can’t say shit. He was the one that brought these blokes through. What happened to the days when the Sydney cricketers were scrappers like Thommo and the Waughs”
“This is the most despicable shit I have ever seen. I could drive down to the offices at the SCG and start knocking blokes out”.
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Roy Pulling In Gropers Up North, Unavailable For Comment, Doesn't Care, Fuck Youse
"Gotta go" he shouts.
Roy Pulling In Gropers Up North, Unavailable For Comment, Doesn’t Care, Fuck Youse
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After spending the last couple hours trying to get ahold of the Charters Tower axeman, our reporters have been informed that Andrew Symonds is in some dodgy reception up North – and also he couldn’t give two fucks about what has become of the Michael Clarke legacy.
After a decade long career as a batting all-rounder, Andrew Symonds was one of the many members of the late 90s Australian cricketing old guard to be publicly smeared and disrespected by both Cricket Australia and the blonde-tipped younger kids that came through at the back end of his career.
Symonds was set to play for Australia in the August 2008 series against Bangladesh in Darwin, but was sent home to Queensland after missing a team meeting while out fishing. A minor slip up not nearly as bad as intentionally roughing up a match ball with sand paper.
Stand-in captain Michael Clarke told the media that Symonds would have to re-evaluate his desire to represent Australia: “The main concern from us is Andrew’s commitment, to playing for this team and, in my opinion and I know the rest of the leadership team’s opinion, you need to be committed 100 per cent.”
Adding insult to injury, Symonds was not selected for the Australian tour to India in October 2008.
Between crackling phone calls from a tinnie somewhere up north, Andrew Symonds was not available for comment because he couldn’t really give a fuck about what’s become of these precious Sydney boys.
“Gotta go” he shouts.
“I’ve got a Queensland groper tugging on the Shimano. Only out here with light gear so need both hands”
“Go ask Katich what he reckons. Fuck youse”
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Steve Smith Most Disappointing Cheater Since Karl Kennedy
"Natalie Bassingthwaighte was so hot. I get it. That's a given. But when Karl started rooting her it was dog as" said the Prime Minister.
Steve Smith Most Disappointing Cheater Since Karl Kennedy
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A recent poll of Australians who are emotionally invested in light entertainment television programming, has found that Australian cricket captain Steve Smith’s admission of ball-tampering against South Africa is even more disappointing than when Dr Karl Kennedy potted that chick from the Rogue Traders.
As the nation mourns for the loss of misplaced sense of sportsmanship that never really existed in the first place, the disappointment can only be explained through parallels to soap opera storylines from over 10 years ago.
This comes as Australian cricketer Cameron Bancroft was charged with ball tampering, and his captain Steve Smith suspended for one Test after he admitted that he and other senior players, who he refused to name, plotted during a lunch break to illegally tamper with the ball in the third Test against South Africa in Cape Town.
Even Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has weighed in on the disgusting display of poor sportsmanship. The Prime Minister himself has likened the disapointed felt by Australia to the time the iconic Neighbours patriarch left his wife Susan for a younger woman in the early 2000s.
“Natalie Bassingthwaighte was so hot. I get it. That’s a given. But when Karl started rooted her it was dog as” said the Prime Minister.
“The same goes for Steven Smith. The entire nation is disappointed in you, you idiot”
“What you’ve done is worse than what Karl did. And that’s saying something”
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@rocky-rockbottom said in Convicts v Marxist Land Thieves - Crucket:
no respect for betoota, they plagiarized one of my shithouse fake news stories lock stock and fucken barrel a couple of years ago
Not to go all Baron, but prove it with a link fluffybunny or GTFO
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@mariner4life said in Convicts v Marxist Land Thieves - Crucket:
Fuuuck this is the gift that keeps on giving. Just read a story on Fox Sports that i swear should be on the Betoota.
David Warner got on the piss with his mates and removed himself from the team Whatsapp group. Teammates have demanded he br removed from the team hotel before there is an "incident".
Awesome
Just watched The Back Page. Pretty much what Crash Craddick said.
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@nta said in Convicts v Marxist Land Thieves - Crucket:
Steve Waugh has his say - so all of us can shut the fuck up, get back up to our mark, and do the best to knock him over:
Sledging — or, as Waugh described it, “mental disintegration” — never took a back seat under his 57-match leadership between 199 and 2004, a period which saw Australia lose just nine Tests.
I don't know whether to admire the fact he was captain for 1805 years, or give him grief that he only could be bothered to play 57 times.
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@canefan said in Convicts v Marxist Land Thieves - Crucket:
If Smith played a captain's knock and took the bullet for unilateral actions by his vice captain one guy will have his reputation restored. And one guy will be a pariah for a long long time
Nah, Smith will still be a weak as piss leader that lies to media and umpires and then also implicates innocent team members with his deceit.
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@rocky-rockbottom haha you actually have links! Fucking gold by the way
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I wouldnt say I am proud of everything that has happened on this tour but the total mental disintegration aussie team that we are seeing is fantastic to watch.
I haven't checked the schedule but really hope there is a 10 game Ido series to really rub it in.
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Why is the media consensus that this was a bit of tape? The only evidence seems to be Bancroft's word, who also said it was a sunglasses pouch?
The pius reaction of the most media and a public has been pretty entertaining. There are some puritans who genuinely want Australia to play their sport in a more civilized fashion and campaign for that win or lose. The majority however subscribe to the traditional sporting psyche of the nation which is play as closer to the edge line than your opposition at all costs and if that means going over it occasionally - fine. Just don't get caught.
The public only ever turn on those who don't get close enough to the line (too soft) or those that get caught too far over it (too dumb/cheat). Basically they want every sportsman to be Steve Waugh, and they all can't be unfortunately - he was pretty special.
I almost feel sorry for the current team because they are just playing a style of cricket which has been handed down to them from their predecessors. It is unfair to pretend that this culture developed under Smith/Warner when Johnson, Ponting, Symonds, Hayden etc went before them.
Look forward to seeing the CA findings.
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@nta said in Convicts v Marxist Land Thieves - Crucket:
Steve Waugh has his say - so all of us can shut the fuck up, get back up to our mark, and do the best to knock him over:
FORMER Australian skipper Steve Waugh has taken Steve Smith and Co. to task in a lengthy message directed at the Australian cricket team, accusing the humiliated side of failing the baggy green.
The famed batsman and stoic leader captained the national side to one of its highest points since Don Bradman’s Invincibles in the 1940s.
As legendary as the boy from Panania was with the bat, his expertise at the crease will always be overshadowed by his ferocious leadership and burning desire to win.
Sledging — or, as Waugh described it, “mental disintegration” — never took a back seat under his 57-match leadership between 199 and 2004, a period which saw Australia lose just nine Tests.
But in his 168-match tenure across a glittering 19-year Test career, “Tugga” never had to deal with a controversy so damaging to the image of Australian cricket.
The 52-year-old lambasted his former side after an unfathomable turn of events saw Steve Smith banned by the ICC for overseeing ball tampering in the third Test in Cape Town.
Waugh revealed he’d been messaged by thousands of “heartbroken” fans after the ugly footage in Cape Town was exposed.
“Like many, I’m deeply troubled by the events in Cape Town this last week, and acknowledge the thousands of messages I have received, mostly from heartbroken cricket followers worldwide,” Waugh said on Tuesday.
“The Australian Cricket team has always believed it could win in any situation against any opposition, by playing combative, skilful and fair cricket, driven by our pride in the fabled Baggy Green.
“I have no doubt the current Australian team continues to believe in this mantra, however some have now failed our culture, making a serious error of judgment in the Cape Town Test match.”
Waugh urged Cricket Australia to revisit the Spirit of Cricket document as the national side deals with a complete leadership overhaul.
“In 2003, we modified the Spirit of Cricket document originally created by the M.C.C., to empower our players to set their own standards and commit to play the Australian way,” Waugh said.
“We must urgently revisit this document, rebind our players to it and ensure the spirit in which we play is safeguarded for the future of the sport, and to continue to inspire the dreams of every young kid picking up a bat and ball and for every fan who lives and breathes the game.
“A focused and balanced perspective is needed in the condemnation on those involved in this, with a clear and critical consideration to the social impact and mental health of all players.
“I will support all positive action to ensure an outcome for the betterment of the game, regaining the trust and faith of every fan of cricket.”
...
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@booboo said in Convicts v Marxist Land Thieves - Crucket:
- Even when I "hated" Warne (the fact all he had to do was ask Daryl Hare "how ... ?" and the finger would be up), Healy (dunno why? whingy voice?), Ponting (because Ponting) I really didn't despise those former players as much as I despise Smith and Warner. Their sneery dumbarse demeanor is unprecedented. The only former player I count in the same boat is Haddin.
Johnson?
It's hard to calculate - there is a common theme for all those players. The formula seems to be something like:
Hatred of an Australian cricketer for NZ fan = (frequency of antics on the field + punchability of face) x runs or wickets scored against NZ.
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Announcement from CA is being made at 0400 Sydney time so everyone can digest it alongside their breakfast.
1800 BST, although the post I read saying that has changed so maybe it was speculation.
This is fun, waiting on the prospect of the blame being pointed back at Davey Dumbdumb.
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“Winning is important, but not at the expense of the game. This is a serious issue. We will complete the process and will be in a position to finalise more sanctions once the investigation is complete.”
Sutherland adds that should be in the next 24 hours.
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@nta said in Convicts v Marxist Land Thieves - Crucket:
Was about to put up the same thing @barbarian - even for those annoyed by twitter threads, its an interesting read from a journo who has been around the team for a while.
@mariner4life said in Convicts v Marxist Land Thieves - Crucket:
Fuuuck this is the gift that keeps on giving. Just read a story on Fox Sports that i swear should be on the Betoota.
David Warner got on the piss with his mates and removed himself from the team Whatsapp group. Teammates have demanded he br removed from the team hotel before there is an "incident".
Awesome
@Virgil just woke up with a massive rage boner
Not at all mate, I’m bitterly disappointed at these events, Warner is up there as one of my... can’t do it! ... nah I’m lovin it!
It’s all come home to roost, your reaping what you have been sewing for years.
( pick any cliche you like )Integrity and Australian cricket team simply don’t belong together in the same sentence, never has never will.
I do genuinely feel for suppprters like @NTA and @barbarian. You guys don’t deserve this, it’s not your fault you were born on the wrong side of the ditch.
Be no different if the All Blacks were caught out doing something, can’t imagine what. Nailing chicks in airport toilets? -
