Financial advice for a fellow ferner
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="mariner4life" data-cid="596432" data-time="1468457482">
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<p>messing with a man who is just trying to organise a root is evil. </p>
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<p>yeah... Wives do it all the time.</p> -
<p>indeed. Internally and externally. And i mutter "that's evil you witch" under my breath all the time.</p>
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<p>which, if she hears you say something, you can then just say 'oh, I said I love you so much...'</p>
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<p>Be prepared!</p> -
<p>Anyway veering away from what will be increasingly hilarious attempts at modern dating I've been looking a bit further into this property business.</p>
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<p>I've just run some calculations on a property in a small town with plenty of employment in a high yield area currently being rented out at $270 a week. It's pretty cheap, I could probably swing close to 25% deposit. Which then using the westpac mortgage calculator at 5.6% over 25 years gives me a weekly mortgage payment equal to the weekly rental income less home insurance, rates, landlord protection insurance and property management fees.</p>
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<p>Other than basic maintenance what have I missed? The area would be unlikely to gather much capital gains but is that much of an issue? I guess the only cost would be the potential interest I could be earning off of the deposit money but that's not a huge amount and I figure that could be offset quite quickly by putting a good percentage of my current weekly savings into the mortgage.</p>
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<p>I feel I must be missing something very big here.</p> -
Does the place need a little bit of work to tidy it up? I found coming home and working on my place at night a pretty good way of keep busy at night after my split, a couple of mates have done the same thing. The guy in the stripper thread who was with the hooker ended up going through three houses as therapy after his horrific breakup .
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<p>Haven't looked at it yet, just looking at the sums. I'm not much of a handyman so I think my therapy will be getting this sorted with minimal fuss and shipping off overseas to greener pastures for a while. Am still youngish, if I shave my beard I can easily pass for being in my late 20's..prime age for travelling.</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Rembrandt" data-cid="596431" data-time="1468457306">
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<p>Well Tinder sure is an adventure.. after thinking it crap yesterday I randomly matched with a decent looking lass this morning. Chatted for about 45 mins, she lived in the next town over, just broke up with her boyfriend, pretty much just looking to hookup. I thought about it and thought yeah fuckit why not. Organised to meet for a drink first and I was all thinking shit I might have to take the afternoon and clean up my flat a bit as I'd been living like a depressed man the last few days...Anyway was pretty excited about tonight, then I got a message from her saying she'd like to chat over camera first just to make sure I wasn't some weirdo or something. I was like yeah sure no problem...and then she sent me a link to what she said was a video chat page www.seeus.me or something... and my thought process went:</p>
<p>..hmmm that's an unusual site</p>
<p>Why doesn't she use facebook/skype/hangouts like normal folk</p>
<p>Maybe it's some new thing that's just come out that the young folk are into, kinda more private...</p>
<p>..I'm sure as hell not clicking it..maybe a quick google</p>
<p>..hmmm some scamish warnings there</p>
<p>..oh wait there is a bodybuilders forum thread talking about it with screenshots of nearly my exact conversation..</p>
<p>Son of a bitch!</p>
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<p>From what I can gather its a pretty advanced spambot, what threw me totally was the grammar and spelling was perfect (maybe that should have been the warning), the pictures of the lass were just normal nothing crazy hot or anything.</p>
<p>Researching further apparently if you go to the link you need to register an account and to verify your acccount you need a credit card (and of course it promises no fees)</p>
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<p>You know I'm not even angry, actually very impressed. They must make a fortune!</p>
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<p>I don't want to sound like an expert on Tinder but . . . these spam bots are usually easily spotted by the following:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>1) having rather unusual first names</p>
<p>2) all being the same distance away from you (a trend you will notice after a while) - ie. 6km</p>
<p>3) the info in their brief bio does not match up to their name (ie, Snapchat names etc)</p>
<p>4) no mutual friends or interests. Chances are you will have liked at least one page in common with most women in your area</p>
<p>5) three photos. Sometimes four. But never more than four or less than two.</p>
<p>6) exceedingly hot photos, but generally look like something out of a Girls Gone Wild video</p>
<p>7) too hot to be swiping right on you.</p>
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<p>And yes, I've been on it waaaaaay too long.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Hooroo" data-cid="596466" data-time="1468463710">
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<p>You need to write a Tinder guide, Bud!</p>
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<p>I'll just leave the final chapter to someone who actually gets matches. searches for smallest violin emoji</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Smudge" data-cid="596479" data-time="1468466170"><p>
I'll just leave the final chapter to someone who actually gets matches. searches for smallest violin emoji</p></blockquote>
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So I'm guessing there is a bit of a love-hate relationships with the bots then. Yes!..dammit No!!! Cheers for the tips I have much to learn. -
<p>was so tough in my day, had to go out into the big bad world to meet chicks ;)</p>
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<p>tinder is a fuck-ton cheaper than buying 12 RTDs and 2 shots of tequila as well</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Rembrandt" data-cid="596482" data-time="1468467086">
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<p>So I'm guessing there is a bit of a love-hate relationships with the bots then. <strong>Yes!..dammit No!!! </strong>Cheers for the tips I have much to learn.</p>
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<p>It's like watching Kane Williamson and Ross Taylor running between the wickets. </p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Rembrandt" data-cid="596452" data-time="1468460999">
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<p>Anyway veering away from what will be increasingly hilarious attempts at modern dating I've been looking a bit further into this property business.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I've just run some calculations on a property in a small town with plenty of employment in a high yield area currently being rented out at $270 a week. It's pretty cheap, I could probably swing close to 25% deposit. Which then using the westpac mortgage calculator at 5.6% over 25 years gives me a weekly mortgage payment equal to the weekly rental income less home insurance, rates, landlord protection insurance and property management fees.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Other than basic maintenance what have I missed? The area would be unlikely to gather much capital gains but is that much of an issue? I guess the only cost would be the potential interest I could be earning off of the deposit money but that's not a huge amount and I figure that could be offset quite quickly by putting a good percentage of my current weekly savings into the mortgage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I feel I must be missing something very big here.</p>
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<p>How many weeks p.a. are you expecting to receive income for?</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="dogmeat" data-cid="596501" data-time="1468473052"><p>
How many weeks p.a. are you expecting to receive income for?</p></blockquote>
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That is a good point. I was anticipating every week but of course that may not be the case. The ones I have been looking at are currently tenanted. Landlord protection insurance will cover me if they suddenly can't pay but a period without tenants wouldn't be good -
<p>Anyone who can't clean up on Tinder probably can't close a door.</p>
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<p>Of course being tall, handsome, having a ready supply of hilarious anecdotes and making out I'm interested in them goes a long way too.</p>
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<p>To add to Smudges impressive list I'd add don't bullshit before meeting them ( ie if you're 6 foot 2 and 3/4s it's ok to say 6 foot 3 like I did but don't say 6 3 if you're 5 foot fuck all ).</p>
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<p>Everyone our age either has kids or wants kids so in one sense you're pretty fucked either way. That's why it's perfectly acceptable to have a crack at 20 year olds on there, some of them are hard to understand, I'm not down with the slang like I used to be, they also expect that at 37-38 as I was I have an endless supply of money, they don't get that after child support, rent and mortgage on a house I was no longer living in I barely had enough to shout them a second RTD. Still when it doesn't work out with them you might run into their Mums on Tinder too depending on your age settings ( Mine were 20-45 )</p>
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<p>Hutt/Pram girls are Wayyyyyyyyyyy easier than "town" girls too, they expect dinner/movies/picnics etc, on separate occasions no less. The former group are impressed if you turn up actually wearing shoes and a shirt as opposed to a swandri.</p>
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<p>Against all odds I managed to find a keeper on there too, we're extremely close to moving in together. Not sure how the fuck that happened. But I'm very happy.</p>
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<p><img src="https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t34.0-12/13695753_10153551985645940_252036517_n.png?oh=fecc451633f3739fb96570e0d4fb23d3&oe=57890A6D" alt="13695753_10153551985645940_252036517_n.p"></p> -
Rembrandt I see you're moving to London before you leave you should do one of two things.<br><br>
1 shag one of your exes mates, <br><br>
2 if you can't be arsed or they are all heinous a much easier but less physically satisfying thing to is send the following text to your ex "by mistake"<br><br>
"last night was fun but everyone in the office says I look like I need a good nights sleep and I keep telling them I went to bed early last night lol, how are you holding up?"<br><br>
Depending on your levels of self discipline you can either wait for her response or send a weak apology text when you realise your "mistake". It's not quite as satisfying as this <a class="bbc_url" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14w45y/hands_down_best_divorce_letter_ever_tldr_inside/">https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14w45y/hands_down_best_divorce_letter_ever_tldr_inside/</a> but it'll do. -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="MN5" data-cid="596509" data-time="1468479371">
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<p>Anyone who can't clean up on Tinder probably can't close a door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course being tall, handsome, having a ready supply of hilarious anecdotes and making out I'm interested in them goes a long way too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To add to Smudges impressive list I'd add don't bullshit before meeting them ( ie if you're 6 foot 2 and 3/4s it's ok to say 6 foot 3 like I did but don't say 6 3 if you're 5 foot fuck all ).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone our age either has kids or wants kids so in one sense you're pretty fucked either way. That's why it's perfectly acceptable to have a crack at 20 year olds on there, some of them are hard to understand, I'm not down with the slang like I used to be, they also expect that at 37-38 as I was I have an endless supply of money, they don't get that after child support, rent and mortgage on a house I was no longer living in I barely had enough to shout them a second RTD. Still when it doesn't work out with them you might run into their Mums on Tinder too depending on your age settings ( Mine were 20-45 )</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hutt/Pram girls are Wayyyyyyyyyyy easier than "town" girls too, they expect dinner/movies/picnics etc, on separate occasions no less. The former group are impressed if you turn up actually wearing shoes and a shirt as opposed to a swandri.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Against all odds I managed to find a keeper on there too, we're extremely close to moving in together. Not sure how the fuck that happened. But I'm very happy.</p>
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<p>Good god.</p>